Pod Tiki: Island of Martinique Cocktail

We talk a lot about escapism on this podcast, Hell, I talk about escapism at nauseum in my regular life, much to my wife’s chagrin. Which cafe, tiki bar, or cigar lounge has the right ambiance? Where’s the next getaway going to be? When can I carve out a few hours on the porch with my thoughts, and which rum to perfectly match the weather and occasion? Even the ideas of adorning the patio with tropical plants, or decorating my writing area like a Hemingway study, both versions of escapism. 

My favorite kind of escapism is what my wife has dubbed, method living. My old joke when I was young and brooding was, “If I was a better writer I could make things up, instead I have to make things happen.” I was always good at chameleoning in; becoming whatever it was I needed or wanted to be. A much milder version of Hunter S. Thompson’s Gonzo Journalism. It’s a method of coping that has helped me greatly in life get past my shy, introverted nature. Wherever you go, act like you’re supposed to be there.

The problem was the places I was going. I became what I heard in Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings songs. What I saw in shows like Californication. Who I read about in Hemingway, Kerouac, and Bukowski novels. Edgar Allen Poe, Oscar Wilde, and James Joyce were my prophets. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Douchebag, you might call me.

Speaking of spirituality? I returned to Catholicism, while investigating Buddhism, Judaism, and philosophy. I would like to say I was able to repel down mount pious, but eventually it took my friends literally shoving off. 

Probably the healthiest and most functional escapism I now practice was recommended to me by my friend Kyle. I will never forget it. Hemingway once wrote that being a writer is extremely lonely. That was made vividly apparent to me when the romance of the lifestyle became a poor excuse for bad behavior. I was quite in a state of dislocated depression when Kyle said one very simple sentence to me, “Find something that makes you happy.”

Home. I was missing Florida very much. Not just my family and friends, but the listless tropical lifestyle. After 7 landlocked years my distance from the ocean became as oppressive as the colorless skies and black barren trees of TN winters. For solace I dove into Jimmy Buffett and Bob Marley, which led me down a rabbit hole to all kinds of musical discoveries. I read Don’t Stop the Carnival and even found new life in my old idols like Thompson’s Rum Diary. My loves like Hemingway and Bogart had ties to the Caribbean. So, I began traveling. First home for solo weekend retreats to Cocoa Beach. Then to Amelia Island and Destin. Eventually finding my way to Jamaica, Mexico, Hawaii, and my favorite - Havana, Cuba. 

I found a new version of escapism, of method living. By embracing the tropical lifestyle in my blood my mind was expanded in ways one can’t learn from classic novels and morose poetry. Even decked out my little bungalow in Nashville to look like a beachside cabin. And it was then I fell in love with another vehicle for escapism - rum. 

But why do we love escapism? The benefits of literally escaping, as in vacation, are self-evident. Rest and rejuvenation, garnering new experiences, visiting loved ones, or simply reminding us who we truly are when away from stress, apart from the heavy doldrums of responsibility. How long does it take for you? For me it’s about 3 days. 3 days away from the banality or normal to forget the pressures of life. It’s like being a kid again. No expectations of who I’m supposed to be, imbued with a child’s excitement for tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeping in this petty pace from day to day. 

Being away is like forced freedom. I liken it to being stuck on a flight. I’ve done some of my best work on planes because there’s nothing else to do. No laundry, no friends calling to go out, no beautiful wife lovingly reminding me of everything I need to help her do instead of sitting on the back porch with a cigar. No distractions and nothing that even can be done if I wanted to. Like how your mind wanders when mowing the lawn or doing dishes. Being on vacation is like that. There’s no other choice but to have fun.

Then there’s the virtues of mental escapism. Sitting alone with one’s thoughts, reading, listening to music, meditation, and yes, hanging out at that local tiki bar pretending you’re on some faraway exotic island. Even here in Nashville. As troves of Bachelorette parties and plaid adorned tourists ebb and flow through downtown bars like a neon tide it’s easy to let the mind drift to another place in time. A time when Hank’s moanin’ blues echoed through the Ryman and mamas didn’t want their babies to grow up to be cowboys. I believe in the catharsis and health benefits of mentally checking out every so often to allow your mind to defragment. 

 Unfortunately, that oftentimes leads to the more untoward side of escapism. For some, margaritas on the beach don’t do the trick. They conflate escapism with running away. Much like going to church every Sunday, escapism only works if you take what you’ve learned back to reality and put it in practice. Breaking the tether to reality can result in neglect, justification, nihilism, and wretched addiction. A bit of folly chasing death. In other words, escape by misadventure.

Beat philosopher Alan Watts explained how one cannot rigidly hold to every planned moment, branches that bend in the wind will survive the storm. Also, one cannot never plan; Having no motivation and being no help to society. Where on the spectrum is healthy for you, is for you to decide. Escapism is like that. It works as long as you don’t abuse it. 

But what about those who found that balance? The ones who live it. Those who actually managed to escape.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Tony, Welcome to Pod Tiki. 

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Take Jimmy Buffett, for instance. Here’s a man who balked at the conventional trappings of social expectation. He didn’t set out to be the parrot-headed paragon of party we know and love today. He grew up the grandson of a sailboat captain along the gulf coast, cut his musical teeth as a street musician in New Orleans, ditched Nashville to all but single handedly reinvent Key West, and found a protean home amid the calamitous Caribbean. All this before the song Margaritaville was even written. Then came the seaplanes, sailboats, and island hopping adventures. The lifestyle didn’t create Jimmy Buffett, Jimmy Buffett created the lifestyle. Anytime you abscond to a Margaritaville bar or resort, or even just pop that Buffett record on in the backyard, you’re escaping to a snapshot of his real life. 

There’s a story of Buffett and his producer sitting on a boat docked in Florida listening to a demo of the new album, I think it was Changes in Latitudes…. The songs ringing out from the stereo across the deck carried on a tropical breeze seemed to fit the scenery and feel perfectly. Like the music was made for that specific moment. Then Jimmy said something to the effect of, what if this was being played on every boat in the harbor? The seeds of an empire were planted. His own style of life became a lifestyle

He never had to escape because his talent, business acumen, and wayward spirit allow him a life others want to escape to. Reminds me of a sticker I saw stuck behind the bar at Tin Roof when I first moved to Nashville. It said simply, “Your vacation-My Life.” 

On the other hand there’s someone who literally built the world he imagined purely for the escapist benefit of others. Walt Disney knew exactly what he was doing - building a world to fully immerse oneself in the fantastical. Disney World is not just an idea, but a real life physical place you can go. Where you’re not just escaping from a world, but to a world. Some might say a whole new world. A world where you can actually ride through space mountain, or down splash mountain. Heck, that fact that he created so many mountains in Florida is a feat unto itself! And the unique thing about what Walt did, is that he made escapism for children. 

I know what you’re thinking, what do kids need to escape from? I believe it’s a bit different. For kids escapism is more about exploring what could be. Eschewing the boundaries put in place by what they’re told reality is. For decades Disney has offered kids escapism into an altruistic neverland where the good guy wins and anyone can be a princess, or not, if that’s what you’re into. Through life imitating art we’ve already begun to see rising tides raise all ships. Kids expecting the world to be better, will grow up to make it better. If those kids are fortunate enough to make it to a theme park they get to see that Walt’s dreams did come true, and perhaps they’ll think, “Maybe my dreams can come true, too!”  

There’s one epicurean escape artist that is specifically prevalent to our preferred passion. The promethean godfather of tiki and rumgenuity. Mr. Ernest Gantt, better known as Donn Beach - proprietor of Don the Beachcomber’s. 

This world was a new one. A world in which no one had trod. A life where nascent frivolity ran supreme and trial reigned over error. In a world… where one man created a realm, a realm of perceived exotica where a man was king of somewhere hot and woman slinked blithely in sensual disregard for sociosexual norms. Before the untoward slouching toward indiscriminate debauchery ran rampant amid Holly-wierd, and holy-wired unwound depravity played paradigm among paladins of paradimsal progenitors. This was Don the Beachcomber’s world. 

Ernest Gantt grew up spending summers cruising the Caribbean on his grandfather’s yacht, earning extra cash with a little rum-running. Depositing rum in Key West from ports the likes of Haiti and Cuba, Ernest caught the tropical adventure bug while concurrently learning all about the local spirits and cocktails unique to each island. Out on his own Ernie heard the siren call of the sea once again, hopping around the South Pacific as a crewman on freighter ships. It was here he became what Jeff Berry calls a lifelong Polynesiac. But, we’ll get to that. 

The enterprising young man that he was, armed with an extensive knowledge of rum and tropical culture, Ernest gathered his vast collection of exotic ephemera and opened Don’s Beachcomber in Hollywood, CA in 1933 the literal day after prohibition ended. Two name changes soon happened. Don’s Beachcomber bar became Don The Beachcomber, and Ernest Gantt, fully embracing his persona, legally changed his name to Donn Beach. 

Throughout the 1930’s and 40’s exotica exploded along the west coast. The proverbial guestlist of Don the Beachcomber’s read like a who’s who of Hollywood elites. Orson Welles, Howard Hughes, Charlie Chaplin, Clarke Gable, Bing Crosby and the illustrious suave Errol Flynn were just a few of the regulars. Then, Elvis happened. The release of Blue Hawaii in 1961 coupled with Kennedy’s travel ban to Cuba exacerbated by the thirsty proclivities of a nation less than thirty years removed from prohibition and, well … Tiki! 

But don’t mistake Donn Beach for some industrious upstart attempting to capitalize on a nascent trend. A trend he started by the way. No, Donn never exploited Polynesian culture just to turn a coin. On the contrary, he was the ultimate fanboy. Along his travels he collected all manner of ephemera and exotic detritus, which he proudly displayed throughout the bar. He was no dummy either. Donn knew how to tap into the most primal facets of American culture - intrigue, fear of missing out, and escapism. 

This is the part of Donn’s story I am most fascinated with. The world building aspect. He collected all of these trinkets and memories and knowledge from different places, sometimes vastly diametric in geography and culture, and he curated them into his vision of an exotic paradise. Replete with Polynesian artifacts and tropical flora Don the Beachcomber’s ambiance was all about transporting guests to a perceived paradise. Complete with a manufactured rainstorm hammering a tin roof for effect. Adding to the exotic effect, drinks were often made in the kitchen area rather than behind the bar delivered to the bartender through a small curtained window. 

Remember this was a time before internet and the ubiquity of air travel. Even those Americans not well traveled had been well acquainted with the Caribbean since the colonial era, but Papua New Guinea, Fiji, Easter Island, Southeast Asia? These were far away places full of mystery and mystique. Hell, Hawaii had just become a state in 1959. Think about that, my dad was going into high school when Hawaii became a state! 

The Tiki diaspora spread across the U.S. spawning new genres of music, subsequent copycat bars with their own unique takes, spin-offs, collectables, clothing, tourism, (ahem) podcasts, and a prolific devoted community which subsists to this day carrying on the legacy of the man, the myth, the legend who started it all - Don the Beachcomber. 

And there’s another thing Donn never exploited but rather used to spark the promethean flame of Tiki … rum. More specifically what I have dubbed as his rumgenuity.  While domestic distilleries and European imports bounced back post prohibition there was one spirit that could be easily obtained from our neighbors in the West Indies. You see, the most valuable lesson Donn would learn from his Caribbean cavorting was the differences in rum styles from region to region. A Kentucky bourbon is going to taste relatively similar to another Kentucky bourbon. The same goes for gin, brandy, or vodka, respectively. But a pot still Jamaican rum, with its heavy molasses funk, tastes vastly different from an herbaceous Martinique Rhum Agricole, which in turn bares little resemblance to a light crisp Puerto Rican rum. While not the first person to experiment with different rums, Donn Beach was the first to combine two or more different rums in one drink to create new tertiary flavors. A unique experience only Tiki offered. He called these concoctions his Rhum Rhapsodies. Even if rum wasn’t from Polynesia, these new mixes were indeed exotic to the American palate and only aided in lending credence to the far away mystery of Don the Beachcomber.  

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So, what exactly is a rhum rhapsody? What was the big deal, and how did Donn use this formula to create some of the most infamous tiki drinks in history?  

Much like any good artist Donn Beach made a career out of complicating things. There are two main templates for building tropical cocktails, the daiquiri and the punch. Both start with what Jeff Berry calls the holy trinity - rum, lime juice, and sugar. The standard daiquiri. Then there’s the old punch idiom. One of sour, two of sweet, three of strong, four of weak. Check out our Planter’s Punch episode for more on that. 

Donn worked mostly off punches while pressing the status quo. Why use only lime juice? How about adding grapefruit. What if we cut the sweet simple syrup with cinnamon and grenadine? Falurnum compliments the strong, the sweet, and the sour. You know what’s mighty tasty? Mixing dark Jamaica rum with an amber Puerto Rican and a dash of overproof Demerara from Guyana. Throw in a little Angostura and Herbsaint for bitter notes and he transformed a standard punch recipe into his most famous libation. The Zombie! 

Donn cherished these recipes so much that not even his own bartenders really knew the ingredients. He would pre-mix certain ingredients labeled as Don’s Mix #4 or Don’s Gardenia Mix. Some were self-explanatory like Don’s Honey, or Herbstura - a 1:1 mix of Herbsaint and Angostura Bitters. In other cases these mixes were privy to only a handful of trusted associates. These would take decades to uncover. Like the simply labeled “Don’s Mix” necessary to recreate his original Zombie. A mix of 2 parts white grapefruit juice to 1 part cinnamon syrup. Donn’s incredulity here didn’t just add a layer of intrigue for the guests, but ensured that bartenders poached by competitors couldn’t recreate his drinks elsewhere.  

This is Don the Beachcomber’s legacy, but it’s not the end of his story. His empire expanded, he married, divorced, and reinvented his brand in Hawaii. There’s plenty more to get to about Ernest Gantt, the man who invented Tiki, and we’ll get there someday. But I felt this story necessary today to lead into one of my favorite cocktails. A drink that I think perfectly exemplifies Don The Beachcomber’s ability behind the bar. A drink born out of punch, deconstructed to a daiquiri, and influenced by the American cocktail. A libation that goes under utilized while remaining undeterred in its heritage. Those of us comfortable with our exotica dalliance are on a sort of mission to prove to the world how difficult and divinely epicurean Tiki can be. And in this drink Donn made Tiki classy. Today we make the Island of Martinique Cocktail. 

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The Island of Martinique Cocktail is a perfect gustatory masterpiece. Everything in this recipe comes together flawlessly. In fact, the flavors of aged rhum agricole and honey fit together so seamlessly it’s like they were meant for each other. I cannot understand why this simple classic is not on more menus. It truly is the nectar of the tiki gods.  

Little is known regarding Donn’s process in creating this drink save it made its debut circa 1948 and initially began as a ‘Ti Punch strained into a cocktail glass. Over time it was totally tikified using Donn’s method of simply complicating things. That is, use a myriad of ingredients that all compliment each other. He would use the rhyming punch recipe but then distill it down to basically a fancy daiquiri as exemplified in this quote from a vintage Don the Beachcomber menu explaining the Island of Martinique Cocktail. “Lusty Martinique rums aged in casks for 120 moons, subtly combined with Falernum, wild honey, Angostura bitters, and Maui Mountain limes.” 

This is an uncharacteristic fit of honesty for the man who literally had his drinks made behind a curtain. Tiki historian Jeff Berry acquired this detailed recipe from ex-Beachcomber bartender Tony Ramos. So, without further ado, the Island of Martinique Cocktail is:


1 ½  oz Gold Rhum Agricole Vieux

½ oz fresh Lime Juice

½ oz Falernum

¼ oz Don’s Honey 

2 dashes Angostura Bitters

3 oz Crushed Ice

Put it all in a blender and blend on high for exactly 5 seconds. Then fine strain into a chilled coupe or cocktail glass. 

As a refresher, Rhum Agricole is a spirit distilled from pressed cane juice rather than molasses. As we covered in the ‘Ti Punch episode France, and therefore the French Caribbean islands, are the only ones to hold rhum production to an official standard. The Appellation d'Origine Contrôlée, or AOC. Cane juice rhums are made throughout the Caribbean islands including Haiti, Guadalupe, Trinidad and Mauritius, but only rhums from Martinique are held to the strict guidelines of the AOC. For this recipe I use Clement VSOP. While the Select Barrel is my usual go-to for mixing the VSOP is much more refined and ads to the elegant rich notes and silky texture of this drink. It makes it more of a cocktail than a drink. 

Falernum is a liqueur out of Barbados made by adding island spices such as clove, allspice, or ginger to a base spirit or light rum. Not to be confused with Falernum syrup which is a non-alcoholic sweetener with similar characteristics. The industry standard here is John T. Taylor’s Velvet Falernum, described as such due to the smooth feeling on the palate. I find it very delicious and I use it as a staple in much of my original concoctions. A little Falernum can instantly turn any drink into a tiki party. 

Lime juice and Angostura bitters are pretty self-explanatory. Just make sure the limes are fresh squeezed. The OG recipe only calls for one dash of bitters but I find two dashes necessary to get any flavor. And I just love bitters anyway. 

Lastly, we have Don’s Honey. I went over this in the last episode on Navy Grog. It’s simply a honey simple syrup. I usually do a 1:1 ratio, but Jeff Berry insists that Don’s recipe was 2 parts clover honey to 1 part water and boil. I generally prefer my drinks less sweeter, but honey is a prevalent ingredient here to obtain the perfect profile. I find 2:1 a bit overpowering to the agricole but I suspect it depends on the honey used. Berry suggests regular clover honey, I like to use wildflower. Also, Clement VSOP is pretty smooth and the grassy agricole notes are toned down. When using a rhum with a stronger flavor perhaps 2:1 is necessary. I use 1:1 for my drinks. 

When put together the Island of Martinique Cocktail boasts such a unique but well balanced flavor profile it’s hard to imagine it took Donn very long to realize he had a winner on his hands. And in the hands of troves of thirsty wayward escapists piling into Don the Beachcomber for decades. I blame the limited availability of agricole rhums on the consumer market for the decline in notoriety of this drink. Perhaps through efforts such as this we can change that. 

Sweet grass with honey on the finish, this drink is redolent of my spring time as a boy in New York state. My mom taught me how to whistle through blades of grass, imagine that taste on your lips then taking a sip of sun tea. The balance tows the line between tropical sipper and true cocktail. Don took a punch recipe, chilled it into a daiquiri, and by adding ice and bitters essentially made it into the definition of a true cocktail. The lime and honey truly bring the agricole forward while mellowing out any alcohol bite. An upright alright rich silky simply complex tropically classy libation. 

You may have noticed all the alcohol in the Island of Martinique Cocktail. Yes, it will creep up on you with a happy euphoric buzz. This is my standard start the night tiki drink because besides being super tasty it coats the palate in flavor and offers up a distinct buzz that just makes me wanna put some tunes on and practice my moonwalk. 

But, there is one other recipe I need to touch on. Shannon Mustipher’s Isle of Martinique. This is the only other viable variation I’ve found. Shannon leans more into the daiquiri aspect of the drink. In her version the tart lime and orgeat play center stage and although the agricole is profound, it’s not as forward. The Isle has much in common with the Island, but has noticeable differences. First in color. The Isle is a more flaxen gold contrasted to the Island’s rusty amber hue. If these were side by side I still prefer the OG but her recipe is nothing to be scoffed at. Mrs Pod Tiki actually likes the daiquiri version better. So, here it is. The Isle of Martinique:

2 oz Rhum Agricole Vieux

½ oz Honey Syrup

¼ oz Orgeat 

¾ oz Lime Juice

Shake with ice and fine strain into a coupe or cocktail glass. Garnish with citrus wheel or orchid. 

More lemon-grass tart and lighter with less depth this drink is agricole/orgeat forward for sure, but with the light crispness of a down island daiquiri. Using a bright orgeat is key to this drink. I prefer Latitude 29 for all my orgeat needs. Liber & Co, popular as it is, is veeeeeery sweet and I think takes away from the delicate balance necessary for true tiki drinks. It’s not bad at all and I have a bottle in my fridge right now. It’s got quite a nice almond flavor but is just so overbearingly sweet I feel it ads a cloying sugar bite. While not ideal for the Beachcomber version, the sweet bite is perfect for this bright crisp daiquiri. 

I hope you all try both of these recipes and let me know your thoughts, because this is truly one of my all time favorite drinks. And as far as escapism goes, I think we can all use a little. In light of the pandemic let’s not forget the lessons we’ve learned regarding work/life balance. Mainly that it shouldn’t be a perfect balance. There should be more life than work. I’m not saying don’t work, only that a good quality of life is important. In whatever way that means for you. 

Entitlement isn’t a bad word. I don’t believe in the relentless pursuit of happiness, I believe in achieving happiness. Take for instance the current labor shortage, maybe everyone just happened to get lazy at the same time, or maybe folks have just decided to demand modern standard of living wages that allow us to spend time with our loved ones. To explore our passions. To live in a world where we can all travel to exotic places, experience new food, drink, and cultures. Maybe our own journey can inspire a generation the way Don the Beachcomber did. Or, maybe an afternoon in a tiki bar is all we need to remind us why we do it. 

 Escapism can be a useful tool, a stepping stone on the way to making dreams a reality no matter how paltry or grandiose they may be. So that, perhaps, we could live in a world we no longer want to escape from. 

Ladies and gentlemen this has been Pod Tiki. My name is tony. Thank you all for listening. 

Credits: Special thanks to Potions of the Caribbean by Jeff “Beachbum” Berry. Tiki: Modern Tropical Cocktails by Shannon Mustipher.




Pod Tiki: Navy Grog

Legion are the grogs of Tikidom. Thus, many are fortified the hearts and livers of denizens in the New World. Ally or foe, remedy and vice, highrise hotshot or beachbombing muse. Throughout history alcohol has been an accomplice in sharpening blades and dulling visage. The very fact we call the distilled vapors spirits indicates the inherent divinity we apply to it. And from hearty meads and ales to decadent wine and brandies none other of these spirits has so indelibly ingratiated itself in our mythos than rum. 

Whether it’s swashbuckling pirates cavorting about the Caribbean or sloshed-stumbling cruisers sporting piña coladas and Ray-Ban tans, rum has captivated our imaginations and led us to a whole new state of mind. Through folktales or passport stamps rum has been the muse of escapism for centuries. But the undeniable thread that binds fact to fiction is the sea. And it was on the sea where some claim the very first cocktail was ever mixed. Grog. 

For better or worse rum has long been tied to the trope of the drunken sailor. Like the gallows conversion of captured pirate John Archer. “By strong drink I have been heated and hardened into the crimes that are now more bitter than death unto me.” He said this as a claim to his Savior moments before swinging from the noose. 

Blackbeard himself was said to be known for holding his rum in true piratical fashion, often mixing in gunpowder and igniting it before swilling it down. Such a commodity was rum among the threadbare and bedraggled lot of pirates that after running out once Blackbeard wrote in his journal, “Such a day, rum all out! Our company somewhat sober! A damned confusion among us.” During his final stand on Ocracoke Island it purportedly took an ambush, a gunshot, and two slashes to the neck to finally bring the pirate captain down. No doubt due to the high aspirations of rum. 

Even in these, our modern days the blight of demon rum has exposed the ill begotten whimsy of man. According to a bartender at the Capital Hilton Trader Vic’s they would remain open after hours so President Richard Nixon could stop in for a few Grogs and lament the pressures of office. The link between American politics and rum is not all petticoats and tea parties, I suppose. Tragically, Phil Spector stopped off in a Beverly Hills Trader Vic’s for “at least two” Grogs before later murdering actress Lana Clarkson.. 

But I'm not here to give rum a bad name. No, booze may be a vehicle, but those men decided to take the ride. I only wish to highlight how the story of rum is one of redemption. Forgoing its checkered past it’s been alongside us throughout history, solidifying itself amid legend and lore. Rum has provoked revolution and jumpstarted our founding fathers' nascent economy. It lay in repose through prohibition, till finding its rightful place in the forefront of our culture's greatest virtue - escapism. 

In this way rum should be lauded and lionized, as are the men and women who also capitalized the high seas. Thus brings us to the topic of today’s episode. A rum drink made famous by the British Navy and infamous by Donn the Beachcomber. 

Ladies and gentlemen my name is Tony. Welcome to Pod Tiki where today we discuss The Navy Grog. 

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We covered the history of grog in our Painkiller episode, but it seems apropos to do a bit more here. First of all, why rum? How did it become synonymous with the navy? Well, Her Majesty’s Navy handing out rations of fine Madeira wine and French brandy was commonplace. But those became rare as England was inevitably at war with one or both of those countries at any given time. The beer of that time would spoil on the long voyage from Europe to the West Indies, so that wasn't a viable option. At the same time the British Navy was experiencing a dreadful lack of cheer, down island way planters found themselves in a surplus of rum but with dollar signs in their eyes. Demand, meet supply. Whoa, get a room, you two! 

Planters, merchants, and sailors found themselves in a bit of an economic circle jerk, but they still had to convince parliament. A paper was actually drafted and disseminated extolling the virtues of Caribbean rum to the pinky out crowd back in London. Hands were shook, babies were kissed, backs were scratched, and quids were pro-quo’d till the Navy provisions office finally declared rum the official spirit of the Royal Navy. Because they just don’t say things in the Royal Navy, they declare them. “Oy, mate. Time to splice the mainbrace, innit!” 

But one rum only leads to another, as they say. Okay, maybe only I say that. But it held true for the British Navy. To use one of Ben Franklin’s euphemisms for drinking, those boys had been to Barbados. It took the foresight and unintentional profundity of one particular officer to not only pacify his men, but inadvertently created a genre of drink. Therefore cementing rum in maritime cocktail history. 

Shortly after Lawrence Washington inherited Little Hunting Creek Plantation in 1740 he renamed it after his friend and decorated naval officer Admiral Edward Vernon. Following Lawrence’s death Mount Vernon was passed to his little half-brother, George. 

It was Admiral Vernon who noticed the effect rum was having on his crews. A, “stupefying of their rational qualities”, he once wrote. But it wasn’t totally the sailor’s fault. You see, in Vernon's day the tool used to measure alcohol content in spirits, the Sikes Hydrometer, had not yet been invented. The standard practice was to mix a bit of rum with a bit of gunpowder and light the mixture. From this practice we get two common modern terms. If the saturated gunpowder ignited, that was “proof” of the alcohol content. Legend has it English sailors would use a magnifying glass and the sun to replicate this technique on board ships in order to verify their rum was navy strength. Imagine how many eyebrows were singed off by Jamaican rum, Blackbeard would’ve been proud.  

In truth it was almost always overproof by modern standards. Which is precisely why Vernon came up with the idea to dilute his men’s rum rations with water. The ship’s purser would dispense rations twice a day with the first round being at noon. I guess I shouldn’t tease my wife about bottomless mimosas on Sunday mornings. But someone should really tell those mimosas to put some pants on. I digress, Even watered down the rum ration received was the equivalent of 5 modern cocktails worth of rum per person per day. Eventually the crew realized a little sugar and citrus could spruce up the watered down, but still highly potent, rum. And using the highly eponymous Admiral Vernon once again, the crews began referring to this mixture by Vernon’s nickname, Ol’ Grog. 

The tradition of officially distributing high alcohol booze to the people who were considered the world’s strongest Navy for centuries continued till Black Tot Day in 1970, when the final rum rations were drunk and the remaining barrels were ceremoniously thrown overboard. The sun finally set on the English Empire that day, while they nursed a century old hangover. Except for the sealife around Great Britain who apparently got hammered on all that discarded rum. Darling, it’s bettah down where it’s wettah, indeed! 

It sounds like this is a nice place to button up the story of grog and it’s legacy with the sea, but while limey sailors were enjoying grog rations another man was embarking on wayward adventures. A man who from the ephemeral detritus of his own exotica would beget a worldwide phenomenon. A man named Ernest Gantt, or Don the Beachcomber. 

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Donn Beach, as he would change his name to, embodied everything I truly love about Tiki. For he possessed the irrevocable talent of taking in the world around him, processing it through his own creative filters and not regurgitating, but reassembling it into the world he envisioned. In this way I envy his creative acuity and place him alongside such celebrated world builders as Walt Disney or George Lucas. In fact, judging by how much Tiki is incorporated into Disney parks and hotels I imagine Walt a big fan of Donn’s work. 

A common misconception, and one that I myself am guilty of, is that the Navy Grog appearing on Don the Beachcomber menus as early as 1941 is a tikified version of Vernon’s British Navy grog. When, in fact, an early caption reveals Donn’s grog as, “Dedicated to the gallant men of the American Navy.” As a Lieutenant Colonel in the U.S. Air Force Donn was himself a World War II veteran. I am sure he harbored a great respect for his Royal counterparts, but as we independant colonies are wont to do, Donn’s Navy Grog was British in inspiration only. It’s a good thing because the English recipe of watered down rum, lime juice and brown sugar is about as bland as their cuisine. Although, beans for breakfast are pretty good. But you know how we do it in the New World, take something from another country and bedazzle it shiny. And before you start castigating me for cultural appropriation, think of how much you like pizza, sushi, and Cinco de Mayo. 

Donn claims to have put Navy Grog on the menu as a high octane manly alternative tiki drink. For those with bravado wishing to eschew the orchids and fruit for a very phallic ice cone protruding with lazy sensuality from the potent potion. Seriously, if this ice cone was a guy he'd be leaning with one elbow on the bar wagging his eyebrows at you. Let me explain, rather than putting the drink on ice or using a large cube the ice cone doubled as a functional garnish. Made by pressing snow ice into a Champagne flute forming a cone shape, the ice cone would be placed with the wide end in the drink so the, ahem, tip was breaking the surface like the top of an iceberg. Because nothing says manly like a big white shaft sticking out of my glass. In all seriousness Donn’s grog was crafted to be a booze heavy no frills libation for those who thought tiki was a little too foo-foo.  Which is ironic considering his first famous tiki drink was the indomitable Zombie. 

Wait a minute. Do you guys feel that? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yep, I thought so. This feels like the right spot. Let’s make a drink! 

=+= 

For all of you who are thinking, “finally he’s done with his sanctimonious blabbering so we can get to the drink”, well, I have bad news for you. Because there’s a lot to get to when it comes to the Navy Grog recipe. Starting with the idea that grog has almost become more a style of cocktail than a specific recipe, and every self-respecting purveyor of paradismal potions has their own version. Including myself. 

The impetus of this episode was a recent trip to a Tiki bar called  Suffering Bastard in Sanford, Fl. It was the final day of my Christmas visit with my folks. We shared a delicious dinner at one of my favorite spots, wherein I got reprimanded by a well-meaning but kinda scary stout German woman for ordering two things that apparently didn't go well together. Afterwards, my folks and I walked down to Tuffy’s. In one dimly lit corner of this vast taproom is an ominously glowing corridor leading to a small room adorned with all the classic tiki ephemera one would expect. Tapa cloth, shrunken heads, bamboo, ship nets, and to top it all off a giant Suffering Bastard tiki mug behind the bar. 

Everything about this place emanates true tiki culture. And the drinks? Besides the laudable rum selection, best Mai Tai I may have ever had. But it wasn’t that classic that caught my attention. I wanted to try something truly tiki. I had a feeling about that bar and I had a feeling I could trust them to do Tiki right. I wanted to order a drink I had previously never had, something difficult to find at the more superficial tiki bars. Then I saw it pictured on the menu, with all it’s prodigious ice cone glory, I knew it was time to dive into Navy Grog. And what a time it was. 

The amalgamation of flavors blew me away. Not too sweet, fruity but complex. What left me truly awed though, was the way those three different spirits blended seamlessly to create a perfect rhum rhapsody. A true testament to Don the Beachcomber’s surgical-like prowess in rumgenuity. I was hooked and I wanted to know how to do it. 

I guess the best place to start is with the basics. Navy Grog is lime juice, grapefruit juice, honey, club soda, and rums from Puerto Rico, Jamaica, and Guyana, respectively. 

I sampled many a grog for my extensive research on this episode including Donn Beach and Trader Vic’s originals, as well as recipes from Jeff “Beachbum” Berry, Martin Cate, and Shannon Mustipher. This is where it gets a bit confusing.  

Don the Beachcomber did invent the Navy Grog around 1940. By the mid 40’s we see it popping up on Trader Vic’s menus. Now, Vic was no garden variety copycat and his recipe resembled Donn’s in name only. In fact, using the name of existing drinks with totally different recipes was kinda his thing. Vic was a master mixologist in his own right, so most of the time it worked out and we got great new drinks. Other times we get Trader Vic’s version of the Suffering Bastard. If there’s two things I know it’s we don’t talk about Bruno, and we don’t talk about Trader Vic’s Suffering Bastard. Notwithstanding, Vic’s recipe was different enough to effectively split Navy Grog into two camps. 

Decades later Tiki cocktail historian Jeff “Beachbum” Berry came along to rediscover and decipher these lost recipes. Having most of Don the Beachcomber’s recipe figured out there was one remaining piece alluding Berry. Till he noticed the bartender who made his favorite grog heating and adding to the mix a small amount of honey. Heating it rendered the honey a little more user friendly but still left a sticky mess. Upon further research it was discovered that Donn Beach actually solved this issue way back in 1950. In a U.S. Navy charity cookbook Donn gave his recipe of boiling one part honey to one part water, essentially creating a honey syrup that’s easy to use anytime. 

Trader Vic’s Navy Grog proved to be a bit more tricky. You see, even though Vic published a number of cocktail books, he was a shrewd businessman and his recipes often called for a Trader Vic’s brand pre-made mix. Great for his bottom line, not so great for learning how to make the drink from scratch. Luckily for us Beachbum Berry is like the Batman of Tiki. After the rigorous research of having to drink countless Navy Grogs, Berry was able to eventually reverse engineer Vic’s recipe, but it wasn’t the finished version that stuck out. In an early attempt at Vic’s grog Berry actually created one of my all time favorite drinks and one we’ve already discussed in the 5 Fall Jamaicans episode - The Ancient Mariner. 

Martin Cate of Smuggler’s Cove actually uses the Trader Vic’s model:

¾ oz Lime Juice

¾ oz Grapefruit Juice

 ¼ oz Demerara Syrup

¼ oz Allspice Dram

1 oz Pot Still Aged (Smith & Cross)

1 oz Blended Lightly Aged (Real McCoy 5)

1 oz Column Still Aged (Flor de Cana 7)


Now if Juxtapose that next to Beachbum Berry’s Ancient Mariner:

¾ oz Lime Juice

½ oz Grapefruit Juice

½ oz Simple Syrup

¼ oz Allspice Dram

1 oz Demerara Rum (Pusser’s)

1 oz Dark Jamaican Rum (Myers’s)

… and there you can see how close Berry was to figuring out Vic’s grog. It’s fascinating to me how through Beachbum Berry’s books we get to go on a journey of discovery alongside him as we watch the recipes evolve as he uncovers new pieces to hidden tiki treasures. It’s cool to see the DNA of these truly unique cocktails unfold, and let’s not forget that collectables are cool, but it’s the drinks that make tiki, tiki, after all. 

Honestly, the Smuggler’s Cove recipe leaves something to be desired. I miss the honey, and even though the spirits blend nicely it tastes too similar to existing drinks. When looking for this flavor profile in a drink Berry’s Ancient Mariner is far superior. 

On the other side of this drink’s convoluted history we are still left with a genre spliced in twain from nape to chops. Hell, we have four of the pillars of Tiki making an appearance. Don the Beachcomber, Trader Vic, Beachbum Berry, and Martin Cate. Throw in Harry Yee and you virtually have the whole tiki totem. A venerable Mount Lushmore if you will. Even if you won’t, come to drink of it. 

(Get back to the grog). Okay, here’s where I stand. Normally I would honor both recipes, but because Trader Vic’s Navy Grog is so different it’s basically its own drink, and the Ancient Mariner, which is a version of Vic’s Navy Grog, is already superior to said grog, I have to conclude that the Ancient Mariner stands alone as the superior drink and kicks Trader Vic’s Navy Grog out of the discussion leaving Donn the Beachcomber’s original recipe as the one true Navy Grog. (They will neva take our freedom!)

And now, for an unprecedented second time this episode, let us finally, make … a … drink. 

=+=

It’s actually amazing how good this drink is relative to how simple it is. The first things we’re gonna need are easy. Lime juice and grapefruit juice, like always, are essential to squeeze fresh. Long time listeners know how much I rail against plastic bottled juices. For things like lime and grapefruit the difference in fresh juice is noticeable by even the novice palate. Take it from someone who’s had to eat crow about homemade ingredients. After making my first homemade batch of grenadine I will never EVER buy a bottle of red number 9 dyed snake oil again. If you’ve ever wondered why your home cocktails don’t taste like the bar, it’s the ingredients. Even if you’re not into home bartending and you just want to make a few drinks, still better to hand squeeze than buying processed. 

Then we’ll need some club soda. I imagine since this drink uses the ice cone, rather than crushed ice, Donn probably added the soda water to elongate the drink and open up the flavors. I tried using sparkling water, but found no difference so I stuck with club soda. 

Next would be the aforementioned honey syrup. Again this is simply equal parts honey and water boiled together. You just want to bring the mixture to a boil then turn the burner off. We’re not trying to cook it, just blend it. Clover honey is recommended. I’ll sometimes use wildflower but it doesn’t always render that rich honey taste. Either way, make sure to always use raw unfiltered honey. 

Now here we are. The best part. Rum. The Navy Grog utilizes three rums from three distinct regions. First, Demerara Rum. Demerara rum is a product of Guyana made using sugar culled from the Demerara River region. Lemon Hart & Sons is a popular and very delicious brand, but it is very full bodied. For this recipe I chose El Dorado 5yr. It’s a bit lighter but still boasts great flavor in a cocktail or as a sipper. Pusser’s, even though it’s a product of Guyana, is kinda different from a standard Demerara rum due to it being a specific recipe tuned to the old British Navy recipe. And remember this is a U.S. Navy grog. The caveat to that would be when making the Ancient Mariner. I find Pusser’s is better in that drink, and since it’s not officially a Navy Grog, I’ll allow it. 

For the dark Jamaican rum I used Myers's Original Dark. Jamaican rum is known and renowned for its signature “funky” flavor achieved by the extra molasses added after distillation. Appleton Estate 12yr is a great option if you’re trying to impress your fancy friends, but it’s dark due to it’s aging. Which makes it great for sipping, but a true dark Jamaican rum is blended to almost a blackish hue and boasts a rich, heavy burnt molasses funk. Use Myers’s or Coruba. 

Finally we get to the swing ingredient. The light Puerto Rico rum can make or break this cocktail, and not for the reason you might think. Bacardi is a fine spirit, as is Don Q. High dollar Puerto Rican white rums are good, but can get pretty pricey. I found when using Bacardi it stuck out and for a light rum that column still flavor was very prevalent. Kinda like how a blanco tequila seems to have more forward agave notes than a reposado or anejo. The thing is, when Don the Beachcomber was creating this drink the “light” Puerto Rican rum would have been much different. It would be foolish not to admit that over time mass production has changed the flavor of Facundo Bacardi’s famous recipe. The light rums back then would have had more of an aged flavor. To compensate for this I used Bacardi 8yr. I am really impressed with the flavor and versatility of this rum. Great to sip on a hot day or use as a mixer, and at $30 per bottle it’s a very affordable alternative to spending $50 on a bottle of Ron del Barillito. 

Now, I’ve told you I prefer regionally categorizing rum over production method, but Puerto Rican rum is made using column stills. This has a distinct flavor, more of a sweet rummy Spanish style. Think Havana Club Cuban rum. And the closest thing I’ve found to Cuban rum stateside is Flor de Cana 7yr. I stayed true to Bacardi to honor Donn’s recipe, but Flor de Cana is a viable alternative for around $25. 

Now, without further ado, Navy Grog is:

 ¾ oz Lime Juice

¾ oz Grapefruit Juice

¾ oz Club Soda

1 oz Honey Syrup

1oz Light Puerto Rican Rum 

1oz Dark Jamaican Rum

1oz Demerara Rum

Shake with ice and strain into a double rocks glass. Garnish with an ice cone and … don’t forget to drink with manly aplomb. 

A note on the ice cone. I was lucky enough to receive a Kitchen Ninja as a gift, which makes perfect snow ice. Simply hold a straw in the center of a flute glass, pack tightly around it with snow ice, creating a tunnel through the center, then gently dump the cone out, remove the straw and freeze for an hour. Serve with the large end in the drink and place a straw through the hole so you're drinking through the ice. If you want to skip all that you can just use a large cube, but it won’t be as cool. 

After it all comes together, wow! Super well balanced, silky texture, with honey on the back end. The small amount of water definitely thins the drink out pleasantly letting the flavors of rums shine. Especially the Bacardi, which lends bright floral sweetness to perfectly accompany the molasses funk of the others. Fruit juices are present just so, doing their job behind the scenes and playing an integral role in making it all come together. It’s a perfect Tiki drink in the sense that everything present has to be there. No more, no less, no stress. 

Strong drink has long been associated with seafaring misadventures. Those of us who turn and toil in the romantic but foolish endeavors of bygone whimsy know all too well how reaping the spoils of those rapacious rapscallions, as beguiling as it may be, can leave us either one knee up on the bow of our ship with a course set for greatness, or making gallows confessions of our own as we swing from a noose fashioned thread by debaucherous thread. The interesting part of humanity is that there’s romance in both. 

My name is Tony, and this has been Pod Tiki.

Credits: …And a Bottle of Rum: Wayne Curtis, Beachbum Berry Remixed: Jeff Berry, Smuggler’s Cove: Martin Cate, Tiki - Modern Tropical Cocktails: Shannon Mustipher.

PODTIKI at surfsidesips.com  

Once again thank you so much for listening and we’ll see you next time on Pod Tiki. Keepi Tiki.




Pod Tiki: The Manhattan

It was autumn on the island. But not the island he wished he was on. That one 90 miles off the coast of Key West, back when he was making all those runs from Miami in the 80’s. Biscayne Bay, through the Devil’s Tongue, and on to Havana. He thought about what Cuba must’ve been like in its heyday. Before Castro, before the bastards turned Hemingway’s house into a museum, and before Dwight and Fidel’s pissing contest kept us from getting any good rum and cigars. Then again, if that hadn’t happened the man sitting in the corner of this bar trying to shield his eyes from the irritating neon would not have made all that money. 

He thought about how he fell in love with the people on that island. He could gaslight himself into thinking he helped them. Bring in American goods, take out Colombian drugs. Sure he was bringing the drugs back to his own shore, but how many evils does it take to get to the center of a justification loop. There was that time at Mariel Harbor, too. He felt like he was doing the right thing, like it sorta reconciled his conscience. All those people wanting freedom, willing to leave it all behind to … to … to get off that island. 

But he wasn’t on that island now. The one he was on was cold and windy. Pretty in its own way, though. This time of year trees in the park turned fiery orange in the sun before peppering the rust colored ground. Streetlights illuminated bright yellow leaves glowing in phosphorescent juxtaposition against boney black limbs. Even within the bubble of urban sprawl one can discern tokens of season’s change. A bit of nature reminding humanity that it’s allowing us our little plans but it can reclaim this world at any time. 

He always lost himself in thought when drinking alone and pondering nature made him imagine what it must’ve been like to exist here before so called civilization. Before Verrazzano came in 1524 greeted by the Wappinger tribe. There they were, minding their own business, probably trying to stay warm and harvest for the coming winter. To them a slight drop in humidity and discoloration of flora would be that sign from nature. And they understood because her voice was louder in those times. 

Then Henry Hudson would sail the length of the big river, mapping for the Dutch East India Company. In 1624 those Dutch would return and establish the colony of New Amsterdam, later renamed after the king’s brother - the Duke of York. Somewhere along the way the Dutch acquired this land formally from the Weckquaesgeek, a sect of Wappinger people. This hunting ground and trading post they called Manhattoe eventually came to be known as Manhattan. 

At that he took a sip of his drink. Oh, that’s the stuff. This was the only place in the city it seemed to get decent cocktail. It’s been said that disco ruined rock n roll. Well, the 90’s ruined drinking. Here he was a few months away from a new millenium. Y2K. And a ruminating old man in the corner of the last classy joint on the island didn’t seem to fit in with appletini’s and sex on the beach. He’s had sex on the beach … not that great. There are some places sand just don’t belong. 

Even the fashionable tiki bars the old time movie stars would hang out at have become tawdry vestiges of their former glory. Just as diluted by virtue of overexposure as the syrupy tripe they try to pass for Zombie’s and Mai Tai’s. 

Kids have taken over drinking nowadays. Replacing low easy lambency with in your face neon and vexatious pounding they call music. Oak bars and leather chairs all painted over with cold tile and hard plastic stools. And the bartenders, he thought, fagettaboutit. Once they finish serving all the gals in the shortest skirts or lowest cut tops leaning over the bar - Bacardi Limon and cranberry, Absolut Kurant and soda (in 90’s party girl voice) - after they slide Jager shots to all their frat bros, then maybe just maybe you can get their attention long enough to ask for a cocktail they either don’t know how to make or pour from a pre-made mixer. Speakeasy? Not in those places, you’ll never get heard over the din and dither of modernity. But here? Jimmy always kept the light low in here. The wooden bartop softened with the patina of a millenia’s worth of elbows, drips, and stories.  

The man walked out of the bar, straightened his fedora, and ambled down the sidewalk crunching orange leaves beneath the points of his Italian shoes. He could never have imagined after the turn of the century there would be a cocktail resurgence. A return to prohibition era drinking that would see his favorite drink come back into fashion in a big way. Not only that, but epicurean enthusiasts would fawn over high end spirits and the bootleggers would perfect their homemade hooch so much that they would be called craft distilleries

Today we’re paying homage to a time of distinguished class and elegant debauchery with a drink whose modern influence can be gleaned behind every red phone booth or false broom closet. Places where the speak is still easy and sheets still blow thrice to the wind. Before good authors who once used better words, now only use four letter words. Where the ritz has been put on, worn away, and reapplied. A cocktail whose very name rings with heritage, progress, and aplomb. The Manhattan. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Tony, and this is Pod Tiki. 

((.)) 

Sometime in the latter half of the nineteenth century, while the northern colonies relished and the southern languished with dignity, while the first wave of emancipated African-Americans proudly acknowledged the long road ahead, and a country on the mend stood on the precipice of a new century. That’s the world Lain Marshall found himself in. He also found himself mixing promethean potions behind the bar at The Manhattan Club. Organized in 1865 as the Democratic answer to the Union Club, the Manhattan Club served as more of a social entity than a specific place. Changing locations along NYC’s Fifth Avenue the club’s membership boasted the likes of Grover Cleveland, Samuel Tilden and even took up residency for a time at the home of Robert B. Roosevelt, Teddy’s uncle. 

Furthermore, Dr. Lain Marshall was not even a bartender by trade. Dr. Marshall began mixing the drink for fellow guests at a gala held in honor of presidential candidate Samual Tilden. A party hosted by none other than Lady Randolph Churchill. The drink became so popular among New Yorkers at the time they took pride in ordering it by the name of the venue in which it was created - The Manhattan. 

There is almost nothing as satisfying when researching cocktail history as a great story. Unfortunately, that’s all this is. Later investigations discovered that even if such a party took place there is no way it was organized or attended by Lady Churchill, as she was in London at the time, pregnant with her son, Winston. 

The more likely culprit of origin is accredited to a man simply known as ‘Black’, working at the Hoffman House along Broadway in circa 1860. Little is known of Mr. Black, save he lived along Houston St and Broadway around the 1860s and is referred as the drinks inventor by William F. Mulhall, a bartender at Hoffman House for over 30 years. The only discrepancy with this story is that if Black invented the Manhattan in 1860, why did it not gain mainstream popularity in writing till the 1880s? I believe the simple answer to this is if the name Mr. “Black” was an epitaph based on one of his prominent features? Well, that might explain the apprehension in lending credence to his legacy. For, the opposite of slavery is not always freedom. 

Black’s OG recipe called simply for American Whiskey, Italian Vermouth, and Bitters. During prohibition Canadian Whiskey was substituted due to supply chain issues. Apparently all the American Whiskey was held up on a barge off the coast of California. Which wasn’t even a state then making this anachronistic joke even less funny. The use of Canadian Whiskey, with its more astringent rye-like bite, may have been the origin of Rye Whiskey becoming the standard for use in a Manhattan. 

In the 1884 ‘American and Other Drinks’ by Charlie Paul he gives a blend of Angostura bitters, plain syrup, liqueur glass of vermouth, Scotch, and a lemon peel. A William Schmidt recipe from 1891 adds Absinthe to his popular recipe. But alas, the modern consensus has landed on the agreed upon standard of 2 parts Rye Whiskey, 1 part Italian Sweet Vermouth, and 2 dashes of Angostura Bitters. And that, my friends, is the most satisfying part of researching cocktails - finding a recipe everyone agrees on! 

With that, let’s make a drink!

((.))

Like the Daiquiri the Manhattan is one of those cocktails that, due to its simplicity, lends itself to myriad riffs. As Willie Nelson once said of writing a great country song, “All you need is three chords and the truth.” Bourbon, Sweet Vermouth, Angostura bitters. Those are our chords and we’ll find the truth after a few rounds. Today we’re not going to concern ourselves with riffs of whimsy because like with any good experiment one needs a control. 

We’ll begin where I always prefer, the spirit. In this case Bourbon. As Black’s original recipe states any American Whiskey is appropriate, but something like a Tennessee Sour Mash I think has to work too hard to be seen amid the potent vermouth and bitters. Therefore I stuck with Bourbon. Luckily, there’s only two popular variants here to contend with - Kentucky straight bourbon or Rye. The only technical issue here is that if you are using a higher proof or spicier whiskey, like rye, you want to use the full amount of vermouth. Whereas when using the lighter, sweeter, straight bourbon you may choose to lessen the amount of vermouth so not to overpower your mix. Other than that it’s purely preference. 

For these trials I used Rittenhouse Rye and 1792 Bourbon. 

With rye there is a spicy start which mellows with the sweet vermouth leaving a finish redolent of dark cherry. One of those mixes that is so well balanced it creates a cancelling out of distinct flavors. For a dark drink it is surprisingly bright and floral while still keeping a medium to full body. I find using a straight bourbon adds sweetness while rounding off the harsher edges. A bit more depth is detected which could be due to the softer body of bourbon. It’s smoother on the palate. 

In the spirit of full transparency I have to admit I generally prefer smooth straight bourbon over the hot bite of rye. But for the sake of purity I like the rye for my Manhattan as it is what the official IBA recipe calls for. I feel that paired with the right vermouth the fuller flavors of rye are integral to the balance of this cocktail. 

And the correct vermouth is paramount. Before we get specific let’s do a quick refresher on vermouth. A fortified wine mixed with botanicals vermouth hails from 18th century Turin, Italy. As with most products of the vine it didn’t take long for the French to get their pretentious little fingers all up in the mix. And after all these years Italian and French remain the two distinct styles of vermouth. Historically French is the dryer white version, while Italian would be your sweeter red, or rosso, variations. Although, in this our modern day each region offers a version of red or white. Either way, a lot of people may miss the most important part of mixing with vermouth. Because it’s a wine product it’s imperative that once opened your vermouth is refrigerated. 

For my experiments I used French Noilly Prat Rouge and Martini & Rossi Rosso for Italian. Keeping with the trend I found using French vermouth created a dryer, more herbaceous drink. While the Italian yielded more sweetness and balance. Fruitier and with a richer vermouth essence it complimented the rye better, but if I was using straight bourbon I may opt for the dry French. It’s all about balance. 

There is such a thing as a “Dry” Manhattan made with white vermouth but it doesn’t hold up in my book. A more popular riff would be the “Perfect” Manhattan, made by splitting the vermouth between dry and sweet. The term perfect is used not to say the drink is superior in any way, but rather refers to the equal parts dry and sweet vermouths. Perfect, meaning equal in this sense. 

When sipping between the versions one can understand why all the original recipes specified Italian Sweet Vermouth. It truly is the best choice for a Manhattan cocktail. 

The final ingredient is Angostura bitters. A couple of dashes will do you, but I like bitters so I tend to drop a little extra in there. The Manhattan falls short of being a true cocktail by definition by virtue of it lacking sugar. Mrs Pod Tiki found that a splash of simple syrup takes the edge off the otherwise in-your-face strength of this drink. As with all home bartending trists it is up to your taste preference, but I chose to stick with the sans sugar original. So, here we go:

2 oz Rittenhouse Rye Whiskey

1 oz Martini & Rossi Rosso Sweet Red Vermouth

3 dashes Angostura Bitters

Stir in a cocktail beaker with plenty of ice till the glass begins to frost. Strain into a coup and garnish with lemon twist and a black cherry. If so inclined, allow some of the cherry juice to drop into the glass. 

A note on stirring vs shaking. Juices, milk, cream, or eggs should always be shaken into a libation. This adds dilution, yes, but more importantly it aerates and binds the components. It also tends to cloud. Therefore, in a drink without those ingredients, like this one, stirring is the preferred method of preparation. It adds necessary dilution while rendering a smooth, silky texture that remains clear and resplendent. 

I also want to add that the Manhattan experience pairs splendidly with a fine cigar. I suggest the Perdomo ESV Sun Grown, La Galera Habano, or for a more elegant and refined choice, something from the Aviator series by Principal Cigars.

((.))

The Manhattan has been an essential part of the craft cocktail resurgence. Though it may take a backseat to its more popular cousin, the Old Fashioned, the Manhattan is not just a throwback, but a celebration of how far we’ve come in rediscovering and luxuriating the timeless tipples of yore. For before Donn Beach created his rum rapsodies, the likes of Mr. Black were laying the foundation with three chords and the truth. The truth, in this case, being that next time you’re at your favorite speakeasy or cigar lounge, holding court with epicurean guests, or simply winding down with that special someone, take a moment to let your mind drift off to a different time. A time when these classic cocktails were new and exciting. A time when people absconded from reality to a dimly lit leather chair or polished oak bartop, laughed about the vicissitudes of life with good friends, and dared to writhe in love. Just like we all still do. 

Credits: Cocktailsforyou.com, imbibe.com, liquor.com, tastecocktails.com, wikipedia.com.





Pod Tiki: 5 Fall Jamaicans

The art of cocktalia. And it is truly an art, consubstantial with a fine wine or perfectly prepared meal. Some say a great work of art is never finished. Yet, at times, it may be perfect just the way it is. One would never change a note of Beethoven, or edit Shakespeare. The anomaly of art is that the ideas of being complete and being finished are mutually exclusive. With gin and vermouth one can complete a Martini, but in the wrong specifications for the drinker that particular drink in that particular moment may not be finished. 

Within the pomp & circumstance of Tiki, a genre which not only allows for interpretation - but encourages it, the idea of a drink being standardized and truly finished borders on absurdity. Take the Mai Tai. There are whole social media accounts dedicated to traveling and finding the best one. Shout out to ... Sure, we know the complete list of ingredients, but with such variations in rum styles, proportions, and specialty syrups can we ever say one version of a Mai Tai is the standard finished cocktail? And if we can’t come to a consensus on the most famous drink in our genre…well?  

Often in studying Tiki and Tropical drinks we come across some that share a common flavor profile, but with a minor tweak - the addition or subtraction of an ingredient, the result is just significant enough to warrant a whole new drink. Usually these share the flavors and terroir of a specific region. Certain profiles we know to be pleasing to our gustatory senses in the same way certain color palates are pleasing to the eye. 

In the early 2000’s Orlando, FL was a Mecca of club music. Breakbeat, House, Techno. There I was with my purple Numark mixer and two Gemini turntables. I never could afford the Technique 1200’s which were the industry standard at the time. We were pretty good, my friends and I. Lugging our record bags and taking turns throwing down at parties. It was magical to watch people dancing and having fun to my own personal mixes. To be able to influence the articulation of a crowd like controlling a marionette. I could make them feel spiritual with a Bob Marley dub, chill them out with a slow break, or simply keep them dancing till they all fell down. One of my DJ mentors, my good friend TeeJay Henson, once told me the key to a seamless mix is picking two records that already sound alike. We do this in cocktalia all the time. 

Today we’re taking a trip to Jamaica to try a few drinks that although sharing a basic profile are unique in their own respective ways. Drinks that are complete, by virtue of being recorded for posterity, but thanks to the passion and curiosity of enthusiasts may never truly be finished. 

My name is Tony. Welcome to Pod Tiki. 

I-I

My journey for this episode began while reading Smuggler’s Cove by Martin & Rebecca Cate. Those of you in the genre are familiar, but I try to write these with the idea that I am speaking to someone with no knowledge of Tiki. Someone like I once was when I began. For the more I dive into the community the more I find I am on this journey right alongside you. You see, Martin Cate has given us the archetype for ascending to Tiki nirvana. 

A spark in the uninitiated lit by a trip to an iconic Tiki temple - the home enthusiast the reason you’re all here goes from foray of fresh juices to a fridge full of jars of homemade syrups - the idea that comes from a Tiki party leads to a full on all out home Tiki bar - in order to be a master one must learn from a master he studies in the house of Trader - armed with a vision all his own while amassing one of the largest collections of rum and iconic Tiki ephemera in the world - Smuggler’s Cove is born in San Francisco, California - recipes cocktalian creation recipes of his own renowned reach across the lands - his empire of Polynesian Pop holding court atop a totem as one of the premier players in this modern resurgence a preponderance of pop Tiki culture. 

Sorry, I got a little dramatic there. I just really respect this dude. Plus, he wrote the eponymous book Smuggler’s Cove, a veritable manual to the genre. Of course, it wouldn’t be an episode of Pod Tiki if I didn’t point out the things I disagree with, but we’ll get there. 

For now, back to our current journey. For some reason the summer to fall transition brought to my minds palate the tastes of Jamaica. Allspice, molasses, dark rich rums. It’s not like I can go down to the corner store and pick up a bottle of sorrel, so I began perusing my tomes for Jamaican based drinks when I remembered recently reading in Smuggler’s Cove about the Twenty Seventy Swizzle.  For reasons I will elucidate on momentarily this sent me on an excursion through flavor, history, and commonality which has left me many a morning thankful I took notes on my, ahem, research while I was still in a manner of able countenance and dry mind. 

A fact about myself that rarely has reason to come up is that I have always been very good at pattern recognition. From something as simple as a word search puzzle to being able to anticipate situational outcomes based on experiential factors. And though I’ve only been shackled to this mortal realm for a scant 41 years it’s not only my experiences I speak of. Since I was a child my eyes and ears have sponged up every bit of humanity I can. 

We pride ourselves on our individuality. On not fitting into a box. But it’s remarkable how often we are not that different. How we often fall, whether consciously or subconsciously, into a pattern of influence. The individual wave may crest at its own pace, but it will recede with the tide into the ocean alongside all the other waves. 

Wow, I’m getting pretty deep on this one so before I get any more full of myself we better get to  making some drinks! This episode will cover a few drinks that seem to play off each-other while paying homage to the flavors of a region. We’re featuring drinks that may not have a rich enough backstory to fit into our overall narrative, but definitely deserve a place in our repertoire. Let’s dive in. 

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When the craving for Jamaican flavors hit me I started with a drink I had made a mental note of. The Twenty Seventy Swizzle. Created by Martin Cate and Ron Roumas for Smuggler’s Cove this cocktail at first glance stood out as exactly the kinda thing I was looking for for my Jamaican fall idea. The drink came about in an attempt to create the ultimate swizzle using the best parts of classic recipes. He claims several versions of the swizzle were sampled and discarded before settling on the current recipe. That must’ve been some session because let me tell you, it only takes about three sips for this drink to start making its presence known. And I thought my research was tough. They finally came to an agreement that the best rums for the job were Angostura 1919, and Lemon Hart 151. Add those numbers together and… You guessed it = 2070. Which coincidentally is the year you wake up thinking it is after a night of drinking these.  

The Twenty Seventy Swizzle is:

½ oz Lime Juice

½ oz Demerara Syrup

½ oz Honey Syrup

¼ oz Allspice Dram

1 oz Column Still Aged Rum

1 oz Black Blended Overproof Rum

1 dash Herbstura

Pinch of Nutmeg

Add all the ingredients to a 10 oz Collins glass, fill ¾ way with crushed ice and swizzle using a bar spoon or bois lélé by spinning the handle back and forth between your palms while raising it slowly up and down. Yes, we’re still talking about a drink here, go take a cold shower sailor. Also, check out our Ti’ Punch episode for an in depth look at bois lélé. 

Now, you may have noticed something weirdly nondescript about those rums. This seems like a good time to go over Martin Cate’s system of rum sorting. Rather than delineating by flavor or color, as in light, amber, or dark rum; or by historical style, Spanish, British, or French, Cate has created an unique and impressive way of categorizing rum by production method and age. I’m not going to attempt to do it justice, mostly because he already wrote the book, so go check it out for an in depth examination. At a cursory glance it separates distilling methods like Column Still and Pot Still and furthermore dissects them into age groups such as Lightly Aged, Aged, or Long Aged. There is also a Blended category, which is usually column and pot still, or simply various blends within a distillery's own line. That is except for Blended Black rum which is its own thing. Of course there’s a section for Rhum Agricole wherein the Coffey Still Haitian rhums are separated from the AOC Martinique Rhum under the purview of French distillation methods. And who even knows where Kohana Hawaiian Agricole Rhum fits in. 

As you can see it gets quite confusing, but you do get the hang of it after a while. The rum world has gone unregulated for so long there has been need for a universal system of classification. Or, has there? Perhaps, like a great work of art, rum is destined to be left wild and free form, unfettered and unbridled. If history tells us anything it’s people that drink rum don’t like being regulated. 

Martin Cate’s system makes sense on paper and allows for experimentation with one’s own favorite rums, which is really a pain in the ass for a purist who wants to know how the person who invented the drink meant it to taste. For example within the Blended Lightly Aged category we find Appleton Estate Signature, Mount Gay Eclipse, Plantation 3 Star, and Real McCoy 3 Yr. Four rums that taste pretty dissimilar from one another. In the Aged section we find rums from Jamaica, Barbados, Guyana, and Venezuela. All of those vary wildly in flavor and will most definitely change the profile of your drink depending which one you choose. 

I admire anyone who finds a perceived problem, addresses it, and fixes it. For that I will always admire Martin Cate. And he does mention that the recipes he borrows from others have been adapted to fit the Smuggler’s Cove profile. But the purist in me still prefers the old school classification method that more informs flavor profile. Spanish Style, British Style, or French Style. 

Okay, now that I’ve ruined that potential friendship, let’s get back to the Twenty Seventy Swizzle ingredients. 

Lime juice as we all know should always be freshly squeezed and Nutmeg is pretty common. Ok, those are the easy ones. Let’s jump into rum. I stayed within Cate’s system, so to keep true to his recipes. For the column still aged rum I used Flor de Caña 7 yr. Column still is going to be mostly your Spanish style, i.e., Puerto Rico or Cuban rums. As I’ve mentioned in past episodes I find Flor de Caña 7 to be very close to aged Cuban rum which is my favorite. Bacardi 8 yr also works quite well in this recipe. As for the black blended overproof rum, I initially went with Plantation OFTD, as I generally don’t care for the pungent Lemon Hart 151. But although OFTD is a great replacement in Zombies, the rich Demerara notes of Lemon Hart truly is the best choice for this cocktail. 

All of that to remind you all that I am not an overproof drinker. One of these puts me past where I need to be, like zoning out on a road trip and missing your exit. If you’re a bit on the pusillanimous side towards the untoward overproofs, as am I, I find subbing the regular Lemon Hart Demerara rum or even a dark Jamaican like Myers’s for the 151 makes a very tasty drink. 

Next is Demerara Syrup. Basically a simple syrup using Demerara or Turbinado sugar in place of regular white cane. This renders a thicker, richer, more molasses-y syrup. The Smuggler’s Cove Demerara Syrup recipe used in this swizzle, and given in the book, boasts 4 parts sugar to 2 parts water and is waaaaaaaaaaay too sweet. Like beyond cloying. Like puckered at both ends sweet, if you know what I mean. (And if you do, let me know cuz I just made that shit up.) If you use the SC Demerara Syrup in this recipe I would cut the amount in half. You will still get the thick syrupy consistency that Smuggler’s Cove is looking for here, but which I think is the exact syrupy stereotype tiki drinks spent so long getting away from. But alas! We still want that Demerara flavor, it’s almost essential for a Jamaican style palate. I suggest a 1:1 sugar:water mix using Demerara or Turbinado sugar. You’ll get all that rich molasses flavor without going into a diabetic coma. 

Likewise, the Honey Syrup is simply 1 part honey to part water boiled down and mixed. 

Herbstura is a fun ingredient. Invented by Don the Beachcomber it was one of his most simple, yet effective mixes. And if he meant to be elusive he dropped the ball on this one, as the recipe is right in the name. Herb/stura is equal parts Herbsaint and Angostura Bitters. Herbsaint is an anise flavored liqueur much like Absinthe. I use Pernod just because I had it on hand. You can mix equal parts in a dasher bottle, which does come in handy for tiki drinks, or simply break it down to 1 dash of Angostura bitters and 6 drops of Pernod. 6 drops being ⅛ tsp. If you don’t have a dasher bottle, dropper, or ⅛ tsp well, perhaps you should go sit in the corner of the tiki bar and think about what you’ve done. 

Our last ingredient is Allspice Dram. Otherwise known as pimento liqueur. That’s not the pimentos you're thinking of that come stuffed in those delicious green olives, but the berry of the Jamaican Bayberry tree. That berry is commonly known as allspice. The industry standard is a brand called St. Elizabeth. It’s kinda pricey but used in small doses. Plus, I haven’t really seen any other brand. It really adds an exotic spice and makes these drinks redolent of the scent of Jamaican air. 

The flavors of this drink are impeccable. It’s got a wonderful Jamaican profile hitting all the marks of island cuisine. Using my 1:1 Demerara Syrup brings out all the nuances of rich rum, allspice, and honey while remaining light and tropical. When mixed with the right amount of ice this drink is so well balanced even the 151 isn’t overbearing. A very nice drink, indeed. 

But with this drink, as good as it is, I felt my spidey-sense of pattern recognition kicking in. This recipe felt awfully familiar. What was it, what was it. Hmmm. Let me flip through Beachbum Berry’s Remixed and….oh, yep. Here it is. It would seem that if you take a Twenty Seventy Swizzle, add grapefruit juice, and blend instead of swizzle you have a Montego Bay cocktail. 

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Semi-rich, honey heavy, spicey-tang, but very well balanced with the dark Jamaican rum coming through nicely. The Montego Bay recipe from Beachbum Berry Remixed is a specimen of a Tiki drink. Not only in flavor, feel, and presentation, but by nature of its parallels. Adding another juice and changing the prep method transmogrifies the potion such as a slight misutterance of incantation changes the outcome of a desired magic spell. A misrepresentation of recitation or alteration in alliteration can make or break a libation. 

The Twenty Seventy to the Montego Bay is what gave me the idea for this episode, but I am in no way pitting these two drinks against one another. They’re both delicious, I only want to point out the correlation in flavor palates. In fact if you swap the Jamaican rum for rhum agricole vieux and add falernum the Montego Bay pretty much becomes an Island of Martinique cocktail - a force unto itself. 

We’ll slide through these recipes a little quicker now that we’ve discussed the prevalent ingredients. 

The Montego Bay as Berry tells it:

1 ½ oz Dark Jamaican Rum

¼ tsp Allspice Dram

½ oz Honey Mix

½ oz Grapefruit Juice

½ oz Lime Juice

6 drops Pernod

1 dash Angostura Bitters

3 oz Crushed Ice

Add all ingredients and blend on high for 5 seconds. Pour unstrained into a Sour Glass, which is kinda like a small wine glass, but I used a coupe. The dark amber liquid should settle with a nice bubbly head. Take care not to use too much ice as even a small excess will turn this from frothy to frozen. When in doubt, use less. 

Berry doesn’t give too much background on the Montego Bay save that it was created by Don the Beachcomber himself. In the drink you can taste Donn’s affinity for classic flavors as well as his aptitude for rumgenuity. 

I used Myers’s Original Dark for the rum. You’ll notice Berry delineates Pernod from Angostura rather than combining them into Herbsaint. Although, I think he may do that for our sake and actually use the combo in his bar. Donn’s secret mixes were not only to protect his recipes, but also to save time. Building 10 ingredient drinks from scratch every time while your customer’s zombie buzz turns to aggravation is not great for business. The ¼ tsp Allspice Dram seemed weird at first, but after experimentation I once again flog myself for doubting the Donn. It’s bland without it, and too “baking spicy” with more. 

Overall, a great cocktail. Definitely added to my home repertoire. But, even in the Montego Bay I had not yet been sated in my pursuit for the perfect Jamaican cocktail to help me bring in fall. That amalgamation of citrus, baking spice and dark rum that seems to usher in the transition from tropical summer to down island holidays. Enter, the Pampanito. 

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You don’t get more Jamaica than Appleton Estate rum. In fact, while I was in Montego Bay and Ocho Rios Appleton and Wray & Nephew were the only two Jamaica rums available. Besides the fact that like most Caribbean nations the majority of produced rum is exported, I got the vibe no one in Montego Bay or Ochi was bellying up to the bar ordering a Hampden neat. One could procure a trash can size bag of “high grade” from anyone you stop on the street, but nary a drop of epicurean rum. Not that I minded, for reasons twofold. A lot of upscale rums are sent to finish aging or blended off island, so hats off to Appleton and J. Wray; And to be honest I didn’t go there looking to stick my pinky out. My best friend and I meant this purely as a beach bum, relaxing, play-it-by-ear trip. I’m sure the fine dining is tucked away somewhere, maybe Negril. 

Appleton Estate actually plays a large part in this next drink. Martin Cate was visiting with Appleton master blender Joy Spence when she told him they take the rich wet sugar and use it to make a rum spiked lemonade. Cate took this idea and ran, adding a few more Jamaican flavors and some of his own tricks. Here’s the recipe created by Martin Cate for Smuggler’s Cove:

1 oz Lemon Juice

1 oz Molasses Syrup

2 ½ oz Seltzer 

¼ oz Allspice Dram

1 ½ oz Black Blended Rum (Dark Jamaican)

1 dash Angostura Bitter

Flash Blend with 12 oz of crushed ice and open strain into a 10 oz highball glass. Garnish with a lemon twist. I made a few adjustments to this straightaway. Since molasses is hard to come by at the regular store I tried honey syrup. I could tell this was not the flavor or consistency he was looking for. So, to fabricate the rich molasses texture I cut the 1 oz molasses syrup into ½ oz honey syrup and ½ oz SC Demerara Syrup. The SC syrup that is usually too sweet for me works perfectly when mixed with honey to bring this drink to perfect sweetness and viscosity. I also found that without the original thick molasses syrup 2 ½ oz of seltzer watered the drink down, so I decreased to 2oz. For reference, the Recipe Index tab on PodTiki.com will  show my personal recipe. 

Aaaaaaand, wow. The Pampanito offers exquisite balance between heavy and light. Notice I didn’t say medium, because it’s not. You can taste both the heavy, rich molasses and a crisp tropical citrus. Light and drinkable while still boasting plenty of Jamaican flavor me thinks this libation far better than the Twenty Seventy Swizzle. Umami, spice, rum, molasses with a slight effervescence form the seltzer and crushed ice. This is exactly what I think of a true tropical Tiki drink. Which is exactly why I couldn’t end my search here. For as great as the Pampanito is, it’s kinda generic. I don’t mean that in a bad way. It is just what it’s supposed to be. A Jamaican alcoholic lemonade. I will for sure be returning to the Pampanito as mercury rises, but it doesn’t quite have the holiday spirit I’m looking for. Sally forth, mon! 

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This next cocktail strays the most from our current palate with the addition of a truly tropical flavor. A fruit so highly regarded that the wealthy once rented them as centerpieces for parties. A sign of fertility to the ancient Taino and Caribs that Colombus thought were Philipinos. I speak, of course, of the mighty pineapple. We also include another flavor closely associated with Jamaica though you might not think so. Ginger. 

Created by storied San Francisco bartender Marcovaldo Dionysos, a key member of the Smuggler’s Cove team, I bring you the Piñata!  

If you don’t like this drink you may as well hang up your coconuts. Crisp, yet full bodied. Pineapple forward with great fluffy head and quite tropical while maintaining that sense of  true tiki mystery. The sour spices of lemon and pineapple compliment ginger and allspice while rich demerara and dark rum round it out. Here’s Marcovaldo’s OG recipe. Then I’ll give you my adaptations which will again be my official Pod Tiki recipe. 

3 oz Pineapple Juice

1 oz Lemon Juice

½ oz Demerara Syrup

1 oz Ginger Liqueur 

½ oz Allspice Dram

1 oz Black Blended Rum (Dark Jamaican)

1 oz Blended Lightly Aged Rum (Blended Rum 3 yrs or under; light or amber; Spanish or Britsh style) 

For the rums I used Myers’s Original Dark and Plantation 3 Star. A blend of Jamaican, Barbados, and Trinidad rums the Plantation works in almost any cocktail requiring this style. 

Ginger liqueur is interesting. I used Stone’s Original Ginger and to be honest it’s not very gingery and I feel like it flattens the drink out. To correct that I substituted the ginger liqueur with Reed’s Jamaican Extra Ginger Beer. Not only to up the ginger but the slight carbonation adds the body I feel this drink desires. 

Flash blend with 12 oz of crushed ice and open gate pour into a hollowed out pineapple or double rocks glass. I used the latter. Garnish with nutmeg. 

All I can say is hats off Mr. Dionysos. You truly live up to your namesake. 

But alas! There is one far greater than thee. The final tipple in our tarry of terroir. There is one paladin of potency who has yet to make an appearance on this litany of libation. One who, you might say, trades in the salacious solubrity of Tropiki.

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By the time Trader Vic was publishing recipe books, fully capitalizing on the genre he helped create, a lot of his prescriptions called for a specialty mix, mai tai mix or grog mix, which he dutifully supplied under the Trader Vic trade mark. Lest we forget before it was our hobby it was his business. But this made it very hard for Jeff “Beachbum” Berry to discern his recipes. Such was the case as he assiduously endeavored to reverse engineer Vic’s Navy Grog. After many sits and sips Berry eventually figured it out, but one of his early attempts garnered a drink so delicious it’s earned its rightful place among tikidom and the top spot on our current list. The Beachbum named his concoction after how old he felt after imbibing in a few, The Ancient Mariner. 

In any quest to uncover the past, especially when that past has become the subject of enthusiasm among fans, one of the tells that you’re on the right track is when you not only enjoy your discovery, but it finds its way through the diaspora of revival. The Ancient Mariner has done such, making itself a staple in temples across the land. Sadly, the original bars to pick it up have since closed. But if you see it on a menu I suggest giving it a try. Here’s why:

¾ oz Lime Juice

½ oz Grapefruit Juice

½ oz Simple Syrup

¼ oz Allspice Dram

1 oz Demerara Rum

1oz Dark Jamaican Rum

Shake well with 1 cup of crushed ice and pour unstrained into a double old fashioned glass. Garnish with a mint sprig and scored lime wedge. That’s a lime wedge with the skin peeled in a decorative fashion so only the white rind shows through. It adds a nice touch, but it’s only a garnish so it’s fine to use a regular old lime wedge. 

I made zero adjustments to this recipe. Myers’s was my Jamaican rum and I used Pusser’s as my Demerara. Okay, so I made a wee tiny adjustment. Pusser’s wouldn’t usually be considered a Demerara rum, but it’s made in Guyana where Demerara rum comes from and all the flavors of the locale are there plus Pusser’s adds more depth and flavor. If you want to be a true purist, as I usually am, use El Dorado 5 yr. With the exception of Pusser’s being the old Navy Recipe, the base spirit comes from the same region and we know that a lot of brands use the same distilleries and same ingredients. So, swapping these two rums is not that egregious of an alteration. And it definitely adds body and flavor. 

The Ancient Mariner hits all of what I was looking for in an autumn leaning Jamaican inspired tropical cocktail. True it’s not as spicy as the Pampanito or as rich as the Twenty Seventy, but it ups the tropicality and leaves us imagining the holidays rolling in on a Caribbean island. When the wind picks up just so and a passing hurricane churns the tide on its way to the Florida straits. 

Crisp and tart. Allspice comes through and dances with romantic overtures towards the mix of Jamaican and Guyana rums. A great balance of sour citrus and rich fruity baking spice. Like taking a bite of key lime pie and spice cake at the same time. Grapefruit is like the cold shower that calms the whole ordeal down while giving an over-the-shoulder wink that lets us know she’s just playing hard to get. Wait, we’re still talking about drinks here. Take a trip with the Ancient Mariner and see what depths you discover! 

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Well, folks. I hope my long winded pontifications helped to point out the precision of Tiki drinks. How minor tweaks in flavor may go unnoticed by less discerning palates. Much the same way someone not into a certain type of music might think it all sounds the same. That doesn’t mean those of us who like to think themselves on the finer side of Tiki get to be pompous. I’m a lover of epicurean folly, but I can’t stand the overthinking snobs who take the fun out of it. Because maybe we can distinguish black blended from pot still Jamaican, the tertiary flavor grapefruit makes when added to lime, a complexity of allspice mixed with ginger nuanced under a bed thick molasses richness. Or, maybe, just maybe, we’re all full of shit and these are just different versions of the same drink. Separate pieces of art created from the same palate. And, I think that’s ok too. 

Ladies and gents, this has been Pod Tiki. 

Sources for this episode can be found in this article at PodTiki.com

Before we sail off into this good night I have a bit of a PSA. We all want to do our part to preserve the environment. But I for one am sick of those soggy flimsy paper straws unraveling in my drink like a cheap gas station blunt. Don’t let your next party be a flop by serving your guests drinks using limp floppy straws. Head on over to surfsidesips.com and grab yourself some premium glass straws. With various lengths, widths, and designs Surfside Sips has you covered in versatility, utility, and style that will get all your guests talking. Choose from a myriad of custom designs or keep it simple and classic. For durable, machine washable glass straws, swizzles, and garnish picks, check out surfsidesips.com and be sure to enter PODTIKI at checkout for 20% off your order. That’s all caps all one word PODTIKI at checkout to get 20% your order at surfsidesips.com

Also wanna give a heads up to all my Tiki cigar geeks out there. If you’re looking for a cool laid back cigar podcast that just puffs and shoots the shit like regular fellas, check out my buddies Bret and Mark over at the Retrohale podcast. 

Last but not least if you’re in the Nashville area check out Faith Kelley Music on social media and youtube. The bluesy-rocky-folky-jazzy three piece ensemble is now booking for the end of 2021 and early 2022. Go to @faithkelleymusic on Instagram to check out the six weeks of Dead series she did earlier in the summer. 

With that I will say please drink responsibly, thank you so much for listening and keepi tiki out there!  







Pod Tiki: Painkiller

  

The story of the Painkiller is really three stories in one. The unholy trinity that makes up too much of our tropical narrative thus far. Colonialism, contrivance, and Capitalism. The first represented by the British Royal Navy. The history of British impact on Carribean rum is irrevocable. And the facts are the facts and so it goes.

Hoist the mainsail, gallants and royals!  

The version of rum as we know and love it began on the windward island of Barbados where they mastered the progression of sugar-molasses-rum. Before which the molasses byproduct of sugar refinement was simply discarded into the ocean. Bajans were out there doing their thing creating rum and sexy dancing, but what kills every dance party? White people show up. Upon establishing colonies on the island British explorers not only discovered the financial benefits of sugar and the pleasures of palatable rum, but were also introduced to the exotic flavors of pineapple juice and feral pig.  

Moving west through the Caribbean the next event relative to our story was the capturing of the Jamiacan city of Port Royal by Captain Henry Morgan. The higher alcohol content of Jamaican rum appealed to English sailors and the ease of shipping to London caused Jamaica to surpass Barbados as the port of favor. Port Royal, in its own right, attracted a different type of sailor becoming the first true pirate haven in the Caribbean. 

Eventually raw Jamaican molasses was shipped to be distilled into rum in London. This never truly yielded that authentic Caribbean flavor but it did give rise to what we know as British Navy Rum. In fact, British style is still a classification of rum, which includes Jamaican, Guyana, and Trinidad rums, respectively. Spanish style being your Cuban and Puerto Rican rums. French of course, the agricoles. 

The final leg of British impact on rum comes in the form of rum rations. Included as part of a sailor’s wages, rum rations were distributed daily mainly to pacify long nights at sea. Much in the same way some of us used rum rations to pacify long days of quarantine in 2020. In using fruit juice to assuage the harsher rums it was Her Majesty’s Navy that first discovered the link between citrus and scurvy. English sailors began trading their other rations of salt or bread for sour citrus fruits giving to the origin of Brits becoming known as “limeys”. 

But it was the temperate ingenuity of one naval officer that eventually brought us the modern Navy rum and the advent of what some claim to be the original cocktail. Admiral Edward Vernon always wore a coat made from a heavy material known as grogham, earning him the nickname “old Grog”. Vernon was growing more than a little concerned regarding his men’s indulgence in the alcohol laden navy strength rum and began ordering his rum rations diluted with water, sugar, and lime juice in a drink which became known in 1756 as Grog. 

The inclusion of lime juice branded this concoction as preventative medicine. (Maybe that’s how we get people to take vaccines!)  These rations were doled out by the person in charge of pay, the purser. Or in British parlance of the time, pusser. In 1810 the official recipe of blended rums from Trinidad and Guyana was a national secret of the Royal Navy. The tradition of issuing rum rations continued for 325 years till 31st July 1970 when on a day known as Black Tot Day the last rations of rum were handed to sailors who raised a glass, took a sip, and rolled the remaining barrels of Royal Navy rum overboard into the sea. A moment of silence for all that fallen rum. …

That was that. That is until 1980 when Parliament granted the formula and the rights to Navy rum to an American (whaa?) named Charles Tobias who subsequently started the Pussers Rum company. Splice the mainbrace, mates! Royal Navy rum lives on. 

The second facet of our trinity takes us to the island of Jost Van Dyke in the British Virgin Islands. Those of us inclined to recline in tikidom all know the names Donn Beach, Trader Vic, Harry Yee, and Joe Scialom for their venerable rumgenuity. Folks like Steve Crane and Martin Denny for providing the atmosphere. Jeff Berry and Martin Cate for keeping it alive. But what of those one off rum rooms, beach shacks and tiki joints along with the countless inspired bartenders and owners who brought us some of the most iconic tiki and tropical classics? Those islands in the stream. Maybe they didn’t franchise or become a giant hotel chain but they fit as an adjunct yet vital part of our tropical narrative creating drinks that live in infamy. 

Thus so was Daphne Henderson. Not much in the way of history is known about her little beach bar in White Bay on the island of Jost Van Dyke (JVD). We know it was open circa 1970 and its most famous fact is that there was no dock in the bay of crystal clear water and white powder beach. Can you imagine? To swim ashore, dragging through the tide to walk out of the waves onto a sandy beach and directly up to a bar to order a rum?!! How inconceivably, piratically awesome would that be? Bucket list for me, baby. This was exactly how island hopping patrons had to approach Daphne’s place. Because there was no dock, thirsty sailors were forced to anchor down and swim ashore, slapping down wet money, giving this place its famous name; The Soggy Dollar Bar. 

The Soggy Dollar became a go-to destination for those who could, and spawned a plethora of knock-offs for those who couldn’t. Adirondack chairs point their visage towards a crystalline bay that to this day still has no dock. But it’s like Jeff Goldblum taught us, in the chaos theory of the tropics, tourists find a way. These days the ferry from Tortola or St. Thomas makes visiting the Soggy Dollar a little easier while maintaining a barrier to entry that keeps the riff-raff out. Or, in, rather. Either way they all come to enjoy that famous drink Daphne Henderson created sometime in the early 1970’s. The Painkiller. 

One of those saturated sippers that frequented Soggy Dollar happened to be Charles Tobias, owner of Pusser’s rum. Ol’ Chuck became obsessed with Daphne’s drink, the Painkiller. He inquired for years about the recipe, which she was quite resolute in not giving away. And so it came to pass that Tobias eventually managed to abscond with a Painkiller, somehow keeping it above water as he swam back to his boat, taking it home and deconstructing it in the most ridiculous case of reverse engineering time spent since sceptics tried to debunk the moon landing. Seriously, this guy made it his mission at nuasium to figure out this concoction. Eventually he not only thought he figured it out, but improved it. The only way to empirically prove whose was better? Obviously… a taste competition. Man, people in the tropics have a ton of time on their hands. Ten patrons were selected, a round of Tobias’ recipe and a round of Daphne’s were each distributed. And the verdict? Tobias won ten out of ten, as he tells it.

Which brings us to the final tenant of our trinity. You may have heard the Painkiller referred to as the Pusser’s Painkiller. This is because, in 1989, Pusser’s trademarked the Painkiller cocktail making it illegal for any establishment to place it on their menu unless of course it was made with Pusser’s Rum. 

Let’s talk about that for a minute. This isn’t unheard of. The Dark n Stormy comes to mind. To call it a Dark n Stormy on a menu the bar must use Goslings rum. Sazerac, and Hand Grenade (which I’ve never even heard of), make up the remaining of the only four trademarked cocktails. But trademarking doesn’t only prohibit variations of ingredients, it also secures a standard preparation. The Mojito is not trademarked, but if you like the way they make’em at Applebee’s you’re probably not gonna like one from the Paris Cafe in Havana. There’s a valid argument that this is a good thing. When I see a Painkiller on a menu I know it's going to taste like I expect. 

Most of the time these legal bindings have work-arounds or bar owners just work in unison with brands. But, Pusser’s wasn’t joking around. In 2010 Pusser’s went after a bar in New York named Painkiller, offering their version of the titular drink. The verdict on this one? Well, the bar is now called PKNY. Presently, the world of cocktalia has leveled out to a symbiotic relationship. Most places that would offer a Painkiller would probably carry Pusser’s anyway, or one could offer a Painduller, Anxietykiller, or any number of variants meant to mollify your malignants. 

Personally, I believe there should be some clemency allowed for the posterity and progress of the genre, but I also don’t like all these “our versions” of drinks popping up all over the place. Just make the drink the way I expect it to be, or call it something else. So, in the end. Maybe I fall somewhere in between. As I do on most issues much to the chagrin of my wife. Charles Tobias himself admits, he didn't invent the drink. Graciously, he allowed Daphne to continue serving her Painkiller and to be fair, does give her credit in the marketing.   

Well, now that we’ve gone through that. I have gone through a painstaking amount of Painkillers in the past few weeks only to land on the decision that the original Pusser’s recipe is indeed the best. So, I guess Charles Tobias won eleven out of eleven taste tests. Let’s make a drink! 

(-)  

I don’t reckon we’ll ever truly know Daphne’s OG recipe. Mostly because none of the prominent cocktail historians seem to care too much about finding it. All my usual references all defer to the official Pusser’s Painkiller recipe. So, that’s where we’re going to start. 

2 oz Pusser’s Rum

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4 oz Pineapple Juice

1 oz Fresh Orange Juice

1 oz Coconut Cream

Nutmeg 

Sometimes lime juice comes into play, but we’ll get to that. The ingredients are pretty straight forward so let’s start where one should, with the rum. 

Before Tobias, Daphne most likely used a dark Virgin Islands rum. Maybe something from Trinidad or Guyana, where Pusser’s is currently produced. I’ve tried it with Jamaica rum to keep the original tie to the Royal Navy, but it only works if you use a not-so-funky rum. And we all know when it comes to Jamaica rum I like all the funk. Did you know that the proliferation of Jamaican rum through British Government is where the band Parliament Funkadelic got their name? And that’s a fact I just made up. Though Guyana is in South America it is closely culturally associated with the Caribbean. Just south of Barbados and Trinidad, Guyana’s capital of Georgetown was a major British hub and remains a tourist destination for colonial architecture. Guyana rum has great full body characteristics and flavor profile somewhere between Barbados and Jamaica. I’m not able to find the Pusser’s 15yr around me and to be honest I don’t see myself spending $100 on a bottle of rum. And being the kinda guy who enjoys making memories not losing them, I’m a bit apprehensive about Pusser’s overproof, which they call “Gunpowder Proof”. Look, I know overproof has its place. I cut my teeth on Wray ‘n’ Nephew in Jamaica, and next time I make Zombies I will probably use the Pusser’s Gunpowder seeing as how I don’t really like LemonHart 151.

I just don’t see the modern rumheads’ fascination with sipping overproof rums? What’re you trying to prove? “Ooh, it’s got a nice spice!” No, that’s not spice. That’s burn, from too much alcohol. That’s what it feels like when you pour straight alcohol on your tongue. I’m not hating, I’m just saying we saw the same thing in the craft beer world a few years back, right? Everyone was chasing the triple IPAs. Go to a local brewery now and see the focus has shifted to lagers or session ales. In the premium cigar world we see folks work their way up to the heaviest smokes they can get till eventually settling in somewhere around a medium profile. Just make sure you’re drinking what you like and not what you're supposed to like. Personally, I really like regular Pusser’s Rum. Great full body flavor whether sipping or in a drink. 

Coco Lopez holds up as the industry standard for coconut cream and it’s pretty easy to find in the supermarket. For a full rundown on coconut cream check out our Pina Colada episode. Fresh orange juice is pretty easy to make with a small manual juicer. If you can find whole nutmeg to grate, that's great… but powdered stuff from the spice isle is fine too. 

That leaves pineapple juice. The pineapple and I have found ourselves at something of an impasse. I have great fondness and respect for the noble ananas. It has served me well in all my potions. Yet, concurrently it plagues me. I’ve pureed it. I’ve squeezed it. I’ve cooked it and smooshed it. How in the holy name of Francis Drake do I get fresh pineapple juice out of a pineapple? Somebody please help me. I have the fancy Ninja food processor set and all that does is leave me with a mass of pineapple paste. I guess I have to go and get a separate tabletop juicer with the pulp catcher and all that. 

When I am able to procure fresh pineapple juice through my undaunted efforts it does indeed enhance the flavors of orange juice and rum in this drink. Worth it, but it’s such a giant pain in the ass to render fresh pineapple juice… wait-a-minute! That must be why Daphne Henderson named this drink the Painkiller. Because you need a stiff drink after juicing a pineapple. Anyway, Trader Joes makes a pretty good unsweetened 100% pineapple juice and a lot of grocery chains now are offering high end 100% not from concentrate juices by various brands. Just try to use it in a few days after opening as being all natural with no preservatives or additives means it lasts about a week. But, they are pretty good. 

Ya’ll know I’m a sucker for using the correct glassware. When you’re sailing in the deep, you need the correct vessel. The Painkiller fits nicely into a Mai Tai glass, and personally I think the high-tropical flavor is a perfect opportunity to break out your favorite tiki mug. But alas, there is a British Navy Pusser’s Rum brand mug. I can imagine an ol’ English sea dog sipping his daily grog ration from a crude 17th century version of this handled tin mug. The metallic clicks as a toast rings out to good Admiral Vernon. One such toast can be found printed on the back of the mug, “To sweethearts and wives, may they never meet!” Yeah … 17th century British Navy men? Not exactly what you’d call woke. What do you do with a drunken sailor, indeed. Drink like a pirate, don’t think like a pirate. Notwithstanding, the Painkiller does fit perfectly in this mug spangled with the Pusser’s Rum label and the tin helps keep it cold. Of course, if one wanted to truly pay homage to Daphne’s libation they could swim up to the Soggy Dollar Bar and order one in their cups which read, “the Original Painkiller”. 

Preparation for this is pretty simple. In a cocktail shaker add 2oz Pusser’s Rum, 4oz pineapple juice, 1oz coconut cream, 1oz orange juice, and 1 ½ cups of cracked or cubed ice. Like anytime we use it we really want to shake hard to froth up that pineapple juice. Then pour that whole thing, ice and all, into your mug and dash a little nutmeg on top. I like to garnish with a mint sprig and a slice of pineapple. (Actually, my favorite garnish is a Pod Tiki paper umbrella! Info on how to get some coming soon.) 

In the first sip the heavy richness of coconut is prevalent. As the drink mellows the sweet tropical complexity of pineapple becomes present. I mean, pineapple and coconut are like the ocean and the sand. You can’t have the beach without both. The orange juice flavor is nearly nonexistent, but that’s only because it goes so naturally with pineapple. I wouldn’t call this drink balanced, per say, it does lean heavily into tropical island expectations, but the orange juice works to elongate it a little. Otherwise, it’s simply a pina colada on the rocks. 

There are some versions that attempt to add balance and refinement, the SugarHouse recipe is very nice. But messing with the proportions and adding ingredients makes the drink very thin and punch-like. And we wouldn’t want to depreciate all of Charles Tobias’ time spent figuring this recipe out. That would be like saying Christopher Columbus didn’t discover America! So what if he thought Jamaica was China, easy mistake. I will say though that I don’t mind the standard recipe with about a half ounce of lime juice. It mitigates the heavy richness of coconut cream and actually brings out the other fruit flavors. But I almost want to say it makes it a different drink, as the Painkiller is meant to be a coconut laden libation. Oh, and dash a little angostura on top - Oh no! I’m doing that thing I complain about where people make their own version of classic drinks. I guess if you do something long enough you become what you hate. See, this is why people trademark cocktails!  

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 All in all I am very impressed with this drink and dare I say so is Mrs Pod Tiki. A simple four ingredient recipe that’s easy to prepare and exhibits a classic tropical flavor, the Painkiller has definitely earned a spot in our cocktail rotation. Make up a batch and take it to the pool, or float an extra shot of rum atop and make it a nightcap. I’m categorizing this as a tiki drink, due to the qualities it shares, but really this can belong to the Boat Drinks or Tropical Drinks monakers as well. Either way it’s like an island party in your mouth. Just be careful swimming back to your boat after a few Painkillers, lest you truly feel the pain. 

(-)

One more thing before I head out. Beneath my irreverence I hope you know my jokes are all in good fun. For all my soap boxes I do try to keep these fun and light and I just like bustin’ chops. But as we talk about a drink called the Painkiller I feel this is a good spot to mention something. Here at Pod Tiki we use drinks to help us tell stories, and yes, we also enjoy our cocktails. It’s easy for the romance of a lifestyle to become a poor excuse, so I urge all of you to drink responsibly. And, if you or someone you know struggles with opioid addiction please do not be afraid or ashamed to at least talk to someone. We can’t get folks to take the medicine that will keep them alive, while others are plagued by ones that are killing them. Unfortunately, all too often they come from the same place. Let’s keep ourselves and each other safe. May your dollars stay soggy, and keep it tiki out there. 

Credits: Beachbum Berry Remixed - Jeff Berry, And a Bottle of Rum - Wayne Curtis, Pussers.com, Liquor.com, RUM - Tom Neijens & Isabel Boons




Pod Tiki: The Tropical Itch

When I was little my family took a vacation to Disney World. One of the memories that stands out to me the most was riding the monorail around the circle of hotels. Grand Floridian, Contemporary, and of course The Polynesian. Long before I ate my first cheeseburger in paradise I was mesmerized by the sights and sounds of vintage tropicalia. The Disney treatment gave it that cartoony tongue-in-cheek facade. I vividly recall parrots perched atop broadleaf plants in the atrium squawking and wobbling about. Even as a child I felt a connection.

Years later, when I was 13, my parents moved us to Orlando, Florida... and the rest is history. Throughout my sister and I’s formative years the family made many, many more trips around that monorail loop. A lot of times we wouldn’t even go to the parks, simply ride around and hang out or grab a bite at the resorts. I bet you can guess which hotel continually captured my awe. 

I found myself working for a construction company in my 20’s, operating a concrete pump. I never minded the hard work, in fact I rather enjoyed it. Perhaps I would still be working there if it wasn’t for the hours. Bigger projects farther away, along with trying to evade the sunshine state’s scorching namesake, meant lots of drive time and very little sleep. I got to work on a lot of cool builds in a lot of cool places, though. NASA, behind the scenes at Disney, Harry Potter land at Universal, and plenty of highrises along beautiful stretches of beach, with all the sights that vantage point offers. It was like a screen saver, but I got to see it for real. One of my fondest memories of that decade long chapter in my life was when I was put on a project to redo all the concrete slabs at one of the Disney resorts. Everyday for 2 weeks I trekked my equipment out to the Polynesian and took my breaks chilling amid the immaculately groomed tropical grounds. 

My love affair with the Poylnesian obviously came full circle in recent years as I sail along my journey of campy contrivances and pop-tiki. The first time I took my now wife to Disney I couldn’t wait to show her my favorite hotel, which I still have never stayed at. Just saying, if Disney wants to throw a free night to a big fan. What am I saying? It’s Disney. All the pixie dust in Neverland couldn’t make them give anything away. You know why you can’t see the pockets on Mickey’s pants? Because they’re so tight. Ahem, anyway, I digress. 

Unfortunately we went a bit early and the famous Trader Sam’s Grotto was closed. So we sat at the bar upstairs taking in the tropical atmosphere as well as imbibing in some early afternoon libations. That’s when I saw it. Mind you, I was always a fan of tropical drinks, but this was early in my education of traditional tiki. I hadn’t yet dove deeply into the players and recipes. So when I saw the hurricane glasses lined up behind the bar all prepped with something sticking out of them it immediately perked my interest. Is that a signature thing here, or some Disnified take on something to be cute. No, it’s a real drink. What is that thing sticking out the top? Is that?... Wiat...Huh?... That’s actually...yeah, it’s a wooden back scratcher. In a drink.  

This drink being the answer to the metaphorical question actually makes perfect sense. The question being; 

           When you pine for the palms, 

           crave a crustacean, 

           want for the waves, 

           and would love a libation,        how will you scratch that Tropical Itch?  

^*^

If the golden age of Tiki was a narrative we are jumping back today into the main story-arc. We’ve met both our protagonists before. On the police leaderboard of tropicalia our two suspects are pretty near the top. In the tiki mafia they are not quite Donns… but consiglieres of conch? Ok, I’ll stop. The folks we’re talking about today are Harry Yee and Joe Scialom, respectively. Hailing from the Hawaiian Village hotel on Waikiki, Harry Yee is responsible for tiki garnish as we know it. Credited as the first to use orchids and tiny umbrellas in drinks, we first met Yee as the inventor of the Blue Hawaii cocktail. (See our full episode on that in the archives.) Our second baron of bacchanal holds court behind the bar of the Caribe Hilton in San Juan, late of the Long Bar in Egypt. The man who helped win the battle of El Alamein with his hangover cure for those suffering bastards has many entries in the tomes in tiki. We’re referring obviously to Joe Scialom. Two legends, two drinks, one itch. 

Let’s get into it. In 1957 Harry Yee created the Tropical Itch cocktail on Waikiki. A mix of passion fruit juice, curacao, bitters, 151 rum, dark Jamaican rum, and bourbon. Yee quickly rose to head bartender at the Hawaiian Village Hotel following his hire in 1952. He was actually mixing drinks in Hawaii before we took it ov… ahem, I mean made it a state. (Not gonna go into that, just read your history.)  As the first actual Hawaiian to propagate pop tiki culture, Yee invented many drinks as well as added some tropical flare in the form of garnish. Not only was he the first one to add orchids atop a tipple, but his idea of placing paper parasols in each glass is the impetus of the term “umbrella drinks.” Yee created drinks that were simple and tropical, meant to satiate discerning tourists who wanted a local South Pacific indulgence. Aside from spitting in a Kava bowl, which didn’t really appeal to mainland vacationers, (oh, we’ll definitely cover Kava bowls some day), there really weren't true Hawaiian drinks. After all, rum was Caribbean, not Polynesian. “A Hawaiian drink to me,” Yee said, “is something they don’t get back home.” So, Harry Yee set out to make real Hawaiian drinks that embodied the flavors and soul of the islands while keeping in the modern, at the time, expectations of tiki. Who knows where an artist gets inspiration. Perhaps it came to him in a dream, or a word from a lost love. Maybe he heard the phrase “tropical itch”, referring to the need for a vacation and immediately made the connection to his craft. Or, for the man who said “I wasn’t thinking about romance, I was being practical”, he probably just grabbed the Chinese bamboo back scratcher that was laying around and threw it in a drink with rum and fruit juice and called it the tropical itch. A true pioneer, Harry Yee’s combinations of juices, rums, bourbons, and syrups hold a venerable place on the tiki totem.  

Rewind. What I meant to say was, in 1957 Joe Scialom invented the Tropical Itch cocktail for the Caribe Hilton resort. Joe’s mix  of light Puerto Rican rum, dark Jamaica rum, vodka, Grand Marnier, mango and lime juices with bitters has a numbing effect sure to assuage any itchiness at all. In true Joe Scialom fashion he gave the recipe out many times, but each time a different version. A curious quencher, indeed. Eventually, in true Beachbum Berry fashion, Berry discovered the recipe hidden among Scialom’s private papers. The combo of rum and tropical juices is no great innovation. And using a secondary spirit was becoming commonplace. Where the plot thickens is the fact that Joe also garnished his Tropical Itch with a wooden back scratcher. Ah, The fat is in the fire, my friends. Two legendary bartenders coming up with a drink by the same name, I can buy that. But using the same esoteric, if not mundane, household item as a garnish? Perhaps people had itchier backs in the late 50’s and there was some sort of back scratcher boom happening that I don’t know about. I’m only half joking about that. MAny times when looking back to history we have to take into consideration any parochial fads that may remain unbeknownst to us. But then, why not back scratchers in everything? Stuck into a New York strip steak or protruding from a bowl of pasta?  

For the prevailing theory we once again turn to tiki historian Jeff “Beachbum” Berry. You see, in 1961 Conrad Hilton, owner of the Caribe Hilton where Scialom worked, purchased the Hawaiian Village Hotel where Yee worked. Berry postulates that Hilton may have been scouting properties in Hawaii circa 1957, when Yee created the drink, subsequently leaning on Scialom to create a similar libation for the Caribe. Which he did the very same year. It was common then, as is now, to borrow concepts and recipes and put one’s own twist on them. Heck, some say Trader Vic’s Mai Tai was a riff on Donn The Beachcomber’s QB Cooler. Once the hula hips were in full swing many menus offered not only the same popular standards, but similar copycats of modern staples. Such as Harry Yee’s Suffering Haole, which appears on vintage cocktail menus for the Hawaiian Village Hotel, a riff on Joe Scialom’s famous Suffering Bastard. 

I’m gonna piggyback off that theory and say Harry and Joe probably knew of each other by this point and held somewhat of a mutual respect for one another. This is all conjecture, but it’s the way I like to see it. Case in point, Joe’s Tropical Itch uses a light rum/vodka combo - the basis for Harry’s famous Blue Hawaii. Whereas, Harry’s Tropical Itch incorporates a dark rum/bourbon mix, a tip of the hat to Joe’s Dying Bastard. Are these similarities a stretched coincidence? Yeah, probably. With only so many derivatives everything is similar to something in the tiki world. Professional courtesy or downright pilfery?

The chicken, the egg. Hans, Greedo. 2Pac, Biggie. The Tropical Itch. It appears we have another entry in the annals of who came first. But it wouldn’t be an episode of Pod Tiki if I didn’t take a stance. For what it’s worth, (which is not much), my money’s on Harry Yee inventing the drink. His “I don’t care how the others do it”, attitude and penchant for creative garnish seems a no brainer to me. Joe Scialom’s style of bartending was more Euro-high-brow. I feel like he would have looked at sticking a back scratcher in a drink as equivalent to selling out to pop-tiki tourist culture. But Conrad Hilton was nothing if not persistent and persuasive, especially when he’s signing the checks. Which he did for both men, eventually.  

In the end we have two very tasty tiki drinks, both worthy in their own right of a place in our lexicon of libations. Our punchy pantheon. Having the same name and aesthetics, while maintaining their independence, we have no choice - Let’s make two drinks! 

^*^

Another tell that these drinks were modeled after one another is their gargantuan size. Utilizing a whopping full cup of juice both concoctions come served in a large Hurricane glass. I also like to use my larger tiki mugs for this since they don’t get much use. That empty space when the mug is too big for the drink always leaves a sad, somewhat inadequate feeling. As is with a lot of tropical originals the Itch has been adapted and modernized, and by modernized I mean made simpler. That being said, some liberties like floating the dark rum - or adding lime and simple syrup to fill it out, are passable variants. But today we’re gonna cover Harry Yee’s OG recipe. 


8 oz (1 cup) Passion Fruit Juice 

½ oz Orange Curacao

1 ½ oz Amber 151 Rum

1 oz Dark Jamaica Rum

1 oz Bourbon

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2 dashes Angostura Bitters



I tried for weeks to hunt down real 100% Passion Fruit juice. Most of the stuff you’ll find in major grocery chains is some kind of passion fruit blend. The best I found there was the Ceres. It claims to be passion fruit but in the ingredients we find it’s actually cut with pear juice. I don’t know about pear juice. Pears are like the unassuming preppy white dude at the office who you always see, but never notice. I’ve got my eye on you pears, wedged right in there between the apples and the citrus. I see you trying to creep your way into tropical juices. 

Anyway, I actually found real passion fruit juice with the sacs and everything at a local Mexican market. The brand I like is De Mi Pais, but there are a few similar brands. Just make sure it’s real 100% passion fruit juice or nectar, beware the pear. 

For Curacao I suggest leaving the cap on the Pierre Ferrand and using Bols or Hiram Walker. This is a boozy fruity beverage. A top shelf curacao would get lost in there. For that reason, you could even use triple sec instead. I couldn’t tell the difference. I used Bols Orange Curacao. 

Amber 151. This was tough. Most high quality overproof rums are either Jamiacan or incorporate Jamaican in a blend. Awesome as those rums are, the Jamaican funk would change the profile too much. I don’t think Bacardi even makes 151 anymore. Demerara over-proofs are too dark. Finally I came across Caribaya 151 out of Barbados. Bajan rums are some of the best in the world so even for a low-to-mid-shelf 151 Caribaya holds up. I’m generally not a fan of overproof rums so I don’t have too much context for comparison but I can tell you it definitely does the job of boozing up this concoction. Any 151 amber rum would suffice, so let me know if there’s a brand out there I should try! 

As for the dark jamiacan rum you guys know how I love my Myers’s for tiki drinks. And for bourbon I reached for the classic Old Forester. Four Roses also is a good option. I wouldn’t go too high or too low on bourbon here. It’s hard, and sometimes futile, using top shelf for mixing, but a bad bourbon will add an unbecoming pungiance.  

Add all ingredients in a large hurricane glass, fill with crushed ice, and swizzle with a swizzle stick till glass frosts. Garnish with a mint, pineapple, orchid flower, and of course - a wooden back scratcher. Just plop that thing right in so it protrudes superfluously out of the glass. I would refrain from using the scratcher for any actual itches. That kind of tropical itch requires tropical antibiotics. Or maybe ointment, a tropical topical. 

The drink should have an almost phosphorescent orange glow to it. It’s surprisingly well balanced, but also kinda wow-boozy at first. Once it settles and the ice melts just a bit Yee’s Tropical Itch mellows out to a very nice smooth, fruity, islandy relief. I actually really like this. It may become part of my regular rotation of drinks to make at home. I like that it’s not overly sweet, like a Hurricane could be. If it ever is, a small amount of lime juice fixes that. I approve. 

Now let’s bounce to the other side of the New World to a different tropics and a different itch. 10 years after WW2 while the greatest generation were discovering manicured lawns and PTSD Joe Scialom was in San Juan, Puerto Rico managing the bar of the Caribe Hilton.  While exotic passion fruits reigned supreme in the Pacific, mango wore the crown in the Caribbean. 

Scialom’s Itch still packs an alcohol punch, though more subdued and punch-like. Here’s his recipe. 


2 oz Light Puerto Rico Rum

1 oz Dark Jamaica Rum

1 oz Vodka

1 oz Grand Marnier 

½ oz Lime Juice

2 dashes Angostura Bitters

6 oz Mango Juice (or Nectar)



For the rum I used Bacardi SIlver to stay true to the instructions, but I found Plantation 3 Star does a fabulous job working with the other flavors and rounds the drink out a bit. 

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Stuck with Myers’s for the dark and for vodka I always use Reyka. For those not in the know, that’s a craft vodka out of Iceland that is the only vodka I can actually tell apart from others. Grand Marnier is Grand Marnier, but you could also use the Pierre Ferand. I know, I know. That’s expensive for mixing, but in this case a true brandy based curacao actually does make a difference over a cheap triple sec. Especially with our next ingredient. 

Mango juice vs mango nectar. The battle rages on. Beachbum Berry suggests “don’t use nectar, it's too sweet.” Well, I went out and purchased Best brand mango juice, and Jumex brand mango nectar. In my house we found opposite the trend to be true. Mango juice is quite overpowering with mango flavor, I mean, to the point where it kinda hides the delicate balance of a tiki drink. In that case go ahead and use the cheaper curacao. I must admit, it has a similar profile to Yee’s version, fruity and boozy, so as a riff it works perfectly. But mango is a bit of a heavier flavor and lingers on the palate more. I find using the nectar in this drink adds a bit of sweetness, yes, which is fine as there’s no added sweetener in this drink, but also tones down the viscosity of mango and lets the other flavors come out. Especially if you’re experimenting with different rums, I would go with nectar. 

Definitely more Caribbean than Hawaiian this version should be a flaxen, yellowish amber. So, basically the color of mango. (Duh, great writing, Tony.) Using more ingredients and less contrasting rums gives this drink a better balance, I think. 

Mix all the ingredients with a heavy cup of crushed ice and pour into a large hurricane glass. Top with more ice if needed and garnish with mint, assorted fruit and that wooden back scratcher. 

Both versions are incredible and have become go-to’s in the Pod household over the last few weeks. My wife, who usually sticks with daiquiris or whatever I’m making at the time, actually requested the Scialom version. Personally, I enjoy the Harry Yee mix. Two drinks from two titans of tiki. One very good buzz. But, wait! There’s more! 

In a sudden burst of creativity I thought, “what if we mash-up these two versions in one ultimate-allstar-mega-mucho mucho mas-Traveling Wilburys-esoteric exotica-Frankenstien’s monster-it’s alive-IT”S ALIVE-cocktail?” 

This my friends is the Pod Itchy Pod cocktail. 





1 oz Light Rum (Plantation 3 Star)

1 oz Dark Jamaica Rum (Myers’s)

1 oz Bourbon (Old Forester)

½ oz Amber 151 Rum (Caribaya 151)

½ Orange Curacao (Pierre Ferrand)

½ oz Lime Juice

3 dashes Angostura Bitters

3 oz Passion Fruit Juice (De Mi Pais)

3 oz Mango Nectar (Jumex)




Shake it all with 1 ½ cups crushed ice and dump into a large tiki mug. Top with ice if needed and garnish with mint, pineapple frond, and wooden back scratcher. Bam! There you have it, peoples. I think this is actually a fruity-boozy, yet wonderfully balanced homage to both bartenders’ creations. I find the juices work well together in the finest coming together of east coast-west coast since Afeni Shakur hugged Voletta Wallace at the VMA’s. I’m pretty proud of how good my version turned out, but it was derived from two of the masters. 

I think both of these drinks would taste great as frozen boat drinks, as well. We’ll have to give that a go. 

So, boozy passion, or mango intoxica? Both of which are great drag queen names, by the way. It’s not a competition. Both versions of the Tropical Itch will surely hit that spot that you just can’t reach on your own. I mean, what other drink can satiate your sobriety and your psoriasis concurrently. 

Remember, folks. A Tropical Itch is not just something you pick up from a one night stand on St. Thomas. So, drink responsibly. And as always, Keepi Tiki! 




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Credits: Potions of the Caribbean, Beachbum Berry Remixed - Both by Jeff Berry; Moderntiki.com; Ultimatemaitai.com article on Harry Yee





Pod Tiki: La Paloma

Some say it was a song. Some say it was invented at a bar. Some say the recipe was discovered by Elon Musk on Mars; After which he invented time travel, journeyed to 1950’s Mexico and planted the recipe to surreptitiously inform the world that Mexicans were indeed on Mars - they were Marsicans. Okay, that last one was only in my head. But there’s just as much evidence to back that up as any other plausible theory surrounding the origins of this episode’s tenebrous topic.  

Actually, there’s really no origin to speak of. I try to leave any chronological markers out of Pod Tiki so the episodes can be enjoyed in any order at any time, (I’m being a bit presumptuous thinking they’re “enjoyed” at all), but this feels like deja vu after the Cuba Libre episode. Today’s drink, a mixture of tequila, lime, and grapefruit soda, is like Mexico's answer to the rum and coke, but sans any rich history to make it interesting; Something of which Mexico is usually replete with. In fact, the lack of backstory is kinda what is interesting. There's not even a good controversy. The only disagreement seems to be what kind of soda to use. Fresh juice didn't even come along till tropical hipsters started looking for ways to turn a $6 cooler into a $15 cocktail. 

So, where does that leave us? Mired in Mexican mystery. We may never have the answer, but as it turns out the more of these I drink the less I care about answers. What was the question again? After all, it’s easy to feel at peace with a drink whose name translates literally to “the dove”. So, let’s have a little fun with La Paloma!   

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Last year at this time I did an extensive episode on my favorite drink: The Margarita. We dove deep into ingredients and pastimes and the gravitas of my personal attachment to it. I care so much about that drink that I still don’t think I truly did it justice. This episode is nothing like that. I can’t figure out what it is about the Paloma. At first I thought it would be like a modified marg, but it turns out to be more like a carbonated Hemingway Tequila Daiquiri. I feel like the Paloma was the original hard seltzer. It’s an enigma notwithstanding its furtive beginnings. I shouldn’t like this drink. I don’t like this drink. It’s not a good drink. But, then, I sorta can’t stop drinking them. When my wife and I are relaxing on the patio, I find myself wanting one. Are they good, or is it just that I’m now obsessed with trying to figure out if they're good? I found myself stressing over figuring out the perfect balance of soda to lime juice. Which tequila offered flavor vs crispness. I’m being totally honest when I tell you there were nights I laid in bed thinking of ways to tweak the recipe. It just confounded me so, the uncoding of this equivocal quencher. 

When the mix is off the Paloma is sugary soda with a pungent tequila note, or bland and watered down. Any attempts to help it along in any direction either offset the balance or change the ingredient list so much it eschews any authenticity. When done right it’s actually a perfectly splendid spiked cooler. I wouldn’t call any alcoholic beverage “refreshing”. I don’t think anything that dehydrates you can be truly refreshing. Nobody’s guzzling daiquiris to quench their thirst, but the Paloma is certainly a light crisp pleasant summer drink. Which begs my biggest question. In a world of daiquiris, margaritas, beach beers, mojitos, and punches, why do we need a so-so tequila cooler? I don’t know, but I kinda want one right now. 

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Let’s briefly go over the few theories of origin. The name La Paloma or The Dove could come from a 19th century folk song of the same name. The drink itself is said to be invented in Tequila, Mexico by legendary barman Don Javier Delgado Corona at his bar La Capilla. The connection seems plausible at first as La Capilla is credited as being the birthplace of the Batanga, a tequila and coke with lime. By the way, I’m calling bullshit on changing one ingredient and saying you invented a different drink. That would be like me growing a mustache and insisting everyone call me El Pod-Tonio. Everyone knows I’m Tony with a mustache. 

I digress, because that whole story is inconsequent. You see, Don Javier, despite having the coolest bartender name, denies having anything to do with the Paloma. Some hearsay take it back to the 1950’s, but grapefruit soda didn't start popping up in Mexico till the 60’s. The first written mention of it comes from renowned cocktailian David Wondrich in his 2005 “Killer Cocktails”. Wondrich says his earliest finding of Palomas by name is from the 1990’s but tequila-lime-grapefruit concoctions go back to the 70’s. Mixing Tequila with other sodas had been popular in Mexico for a long time. So I think it’s pretty self explanatory what happened here. 

Applying a little Occam’s razor, the simplest answer being the most likely, I contend once grapefruit soda became popular folks down Mexico way naturally began mixing it with their favorite spirit just for something new. The drink subsequently proliferated naturally as most of our simple standards do. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. We do it today, whenever a new drink comes out we mix it with booze. Remember the vodka-Red Bull debacle of the 2000’s? Remember when we all made fun of Smirnoff Ice? Now they made it clear, put it in a skinny can, and called it hard seltzer and we all concurrently lost  a summer? Perhaps the pandemic was Earth’s way of keeping hard seltzer’s white claws from truly digging in too deep. 

Using purely Mexican ingredients, I imagine La Paloma gave a sense of National pride that so many Caribbean Islands had enjoyed for decades due to rum being the typical tropical tipple. Tequila transcends multiple facets of Mexican geo-culture, from the beaches of Cozumel to the cantinas of Juarez, vis-a-vis rum from the West Indies to New England. And let us not forget the Yucatan just about comes up to kiss the Caribbean, after all. 

Well, I don’t know about you guys but all this heretical history dries me out. Palomas, anyone? Let’s make a drink. 

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Of all the ways I tried making Palomas the changes in flavor are negligible. We have tequila, we have grapefruit, lime, something sweet and some carbonation. The traditional recipe calls for grapefruit soda, which knocks out three little birds with one stone. In what I’m calling the “fresh” version we’re just gonna break those components down using fresh grapefruit juice, agave syrup, and club soda. 

Which grapefruit soda to use here seems to be up to preference, but Jarritos brand is a true Mexican product and is referenced most often by trusted recipes. Squirt is the other contestant. I use Jarritos. It’s easy to find in most Mexican mercados. I didn’t have much luck with grapefruit soda waters like La Croix or Bubly. I just found the grapefruit flavor too mild to stand up to tequila. I do have an audible though. Italian soda. If you can find grapefruit Italian soda it has more of that true bitterness associated with the fruit and is not as sweet as Jarritos. I prefer it. 

Of course, we want to use fresh squeezed lime juice, and if you go the agave syrup route make sure it’s pure agave and not agave cocktail syrup. If your liquor store doesn’t carry it you can find it in the baking section of the supermarket. 

Lastly, we can’t make a Paloma without tequila. A blanco is generally used, though I found if  you don’t get a premium tequila the pungence of blanco clashes with the bitter grapefruit. That’s one of the reasons this drink felt a bit abrasive to me at first. I corrected that problem by using reposado. It rounds out the bite and adds some deeper flavors thanks to the barrel aging. I use my favorite local brand, Cuestion Tequila. If it’s not available in your area I fall back on Cazadores Reposado. It’s aged enough to add character, but still light enough to be crisp, herby, and fruity. Comes in about 30$ where I’m at. 

Before we go on I have to vent a little on coolers, that is, drinks that use soda as the main mixer. I can’t stand the phrase, “fill to top”. Especially when they don’t tell you what size glass they're using. Depending on such, the drink will taste different. This is how we end up with oversweet cola drinks or unpalatable half-n-half’s. Half booze half soda should stay with Charles Bukowski. Been there, drank that, wrote the poem. 

I also take umbrage with “to taste”. Of course as palm shade bartenders and pros alike will confirm, having one’s own version of something the way they like it is crucial to enjoyment. But I don’t want any secrets in my recipes. I want someone to be able to taste one of my drinks, go home and use my recipe, and it tastes exactly the same. I love the creatikivity and rumgenuity of tiki drinks. But I also believe there should be a standard original recipe for to build off. That’s why tiki frustrates me so. Too often it’s left up to us to build out. It’s like a cocktail lego set. Mine came with the limited edition tiny Don Javier figure.  

Here’s the Tradition recipe:

1 ½  oz Tequila Reposado

½  oz Lime Juice

3 oz Jarritos Grapefruit Soda

Pinch of Cocktail Salt

Add all ingredients, including salt, directly into a double rocks, collins, or pilsner glass, fill with ice and stir. La Paloma should be a pallid translucent green. I’ve seen recipes with the salt mixed in or on the rim. Personally I find mixing it in adds a bit of complexity and that summer drink feel. 

You’ll see in this fresh juice recipe the flavors are the same, we just get there differently. 

2 oz Tequila Reposado 

1 oz Fresh Grapefruit Juice

½ oz Fresh Lime Juice

1 tsp Agave Syrup

4 oz Topo Chico Sparkling Water

Pinch of Cocktail Salt

We’re going to mix it in the glass using the very same method as before, otro vez, and there you have it. In either version it shouldn’t hit you in the face. It’s not a flavor bomb though the bitter-sour-sweet aspects are subtly present. I used the hard selter comparison because it really does remind me of a better tasting alternative. The grapefruit and lime is faint, the sweetness mild, while tequila adds some body. 

I can understand why this drink earned the moniker of the dove . It’s unassuming character, pastel hue, and bubbly demeanor pacify the soul, then you add tequila in the mix and this is what it tastes like when doves cry. 

Credits: Alcademics.com Link, Wikipedia, Imbibe.com, Liquor.com

Pod Tiki: Cuba Libre

Left to our own devices for a day in Old Havana my wife and I ambled about calle Mercaderes looking for the cigar shop and cafe. It was pointed out to us in passing by our guide a few days earlier. Now, relying solely on hazy recollection, I studied each open facade searching for the lobby I would surely recognize when I saw it. You can tell this was before we were married as my wife didn’t say a word about me using instinct as a compass.   

But alas, we came upon Conde de Villanueva. Making our way through the lobby and around the front desk we entered the large open atrium area common in Colonial Spanish architecture. Sunlight poured in from above dripping off lazy palm fronds and illuminating the pallid yellow walls in noonday glow. We followed a green iron staircase up to a thin mezzanine along which the wall was lined with framed photos of famous cigar smokers, presumably who had also found this little respite from the hot Cuban day. 

The quaint shop was a direct contrast to the frondescent atrium. Wooden walls lined with cigar cases and some leather lounge chairs. It was the first time I had seen lighting a cigar with a cedar stick. One lights a strip of cedar and then uses the cedar to light the cigar. Supposedly, this eliminates the chemicals from using a lighter and adds a natural flavor to a cigar. Being the confident gentleman I am, I proceeded clumsily attempting to light my wife’s cigar. Yeah, as one might expect, using a large, dancing flame which does not want to cooperate in the slightest and is rapidly climbing towards your fingers on the burning piece of timber you’re holding is not as easy as it sounds. To my credit, it doesn’t even sound easy. 

So, after the hardened older Cuban man came out from behind the counter, sauntered over to my wife’s chair with the suave debonair of a seasoned caballero, shook his head at me, and handily lit my wife’s Cohiba, we made our way to the bar. Off to the side of the cigar lounge was a very small, dimly lit room with a small bar along one wall. After some time a fellow joined us. He wore the stereotypical Cuban military hat. The kind we see in the pictures of Castro, a military style jacket and otherwise regular clothes. We eventually struck up conversation, both speaking enough of the other’s language to suffice. The topic came up of how happy I was to visit Cuba as growing up in the 80’s we never thought we’d see Havana. Gradually catching a midday happy buzz I went into my rhetoric on how normal people are basically the same everywhere and the governments argue while the people just want to live and raise their families and drink some cervezas with friends and … Then I saw the look from my wife. The one that lets me know it’s time to stop talking.  

Knowing when to play the kind-hearted oblivious outsider has served me well over the years and my wife’s ability to squint her mind’s eye and see through bullshit is well documented. So, we  tapered the conversation off and he eventually moved on from us gringos. I don’t know if there was anything to that encounter. I never felt unsafe. Was he checking to see what the Americans were doing alone in Havana? Did the two gentlemen in the cigar lounge notice a couple of Americans drinking and carrying on and decide to call us in? Nothing ever came of it and we spent a few hours there smoking and sipping. It was one of my fondest memories of that trip. They comped our bar tab after I purchased 3 boxes of cigars. Rum is so cheap there one gets the impression they’re trying to give it away. 

I was drinking Cristal, Havana’s light beer.  My wife, on the other hand, was embodying our free day in Habana Vieja with a steady stream of Cuba Libres.   

^^^

We think we grow out of cola as a mixer. Don’t we? But Rum & Coke is not only what a majority of us start our drinking careers with, it’s the occasional drinker’s go-to when they don’t know what to order. When I met my friend Kyle, the one for whom the Ki-Tai is named, his out-at-a-bar drink was Rum & Coke. It seems vapid, banal, lazy even. But so ingrained is cola as an American beverage we could hardly speak of cocktailia without acknowledging its role in our journey. The road to modern drinking is paved by rum & Coke. Yet, it’s constantly looked down upon. For proof, I just spent a whole paragraph endeavoring to convince you it shouldn't be.  

I take great pains to stay true to the authenticity of the drinks we cover without crossing the hipster rubicon. Bitters and fresh juices, though they can transform a so-so drink into a work of flavor art, are not always necessary to make a traditional drink or a good one for that matter. In fact, I think some of these “my versions” and “new spins” some of ya’ll like to use sort of take away from a traditional cocktail. Yet, this is cognitive dissonance on my part, because at the heart of tiki is creativity. My point of view resides in a weird place between authenticity and invention. Must be the gemini in me.    

Anyway, let’s take a look back at this classic portmanteau. 

Whereas Tiki culture is predicated on exploring and bringing exotica home, sometimes it works in reverse. Sometimes a piece of Americana is too pervasive for sea-to-shining-sea, so it hitches a ride across one. Such is the case of the Cuba Libre. You see, during World War 2 Coca-Cola actually set up small operations on U.S. military bases in an attempt to bring the boys a literal taste of home. But, how did Coke become such an integral part of the American fabric in the first place? 

After being wounded in the Civil War Colonel John Pemberton found himself a bit of a liking for ol’ morphine. There wasn’t exactly a lavish Malibu rehab to send him off to. Mainly because California had only become a state less than two decades prior and apparently the rehabs came a few months later. Luckily Pemberton was also a doctor. Which in those days I think meant he was the only guy with a hacksaw and bottle of laudanum so everyone was like, “well, I guess he’s the doctor now!” Pemberton did eventually find his magic cure for addiction by mixing coca leaves with kola nuts. They didn’t really have a handle on addiction back then. He sold this elixer out of his Atlanta based Pemberton’s Eagle Drug and Chemical House. 

When Atlanta passed its own early prohibition laws in 1886 Pemberton’s cola empire really began to bubble up and he officially registered “Coca-Cola: The Temperance Dink.” I don’t need to point out the irony in that. This early concoction was marketed to cure all sorts of ailments ranging from morphine addiction and headaches to even impotence. Yeah, no shit. It was cocaine and caffeine!  

After a litany of corporate shuffling I won’t bore you with the Coca-Cola Company was formed in 1892 just as the rise of soda fountains was becoming synonymous with early Americana. 

Active coca leaf was removed from the recipe in 1903 and during prohibition we really see Coke getting a huge boost as not only a non-alcoholic beverage, but being used to cover up the acrid tastes of bootleg booze. The ink had hardly dried on repeal by the time the greatest generation was called upon to fight the evil forces of the axis powers. As American G.I.’s cemented Coke’s foothold on the globe those stationed in the South Pacific and Caribbean had cemented a love of their own: rum. But some say rum & coke has origins even before this.

Coca-Cola’s diaspora of world domination had already begun by the turn of the 20th century. Coke branding could be spotted in the most remote areas of the world. The fizzy beverage was our first gift to the world before John Wayne, apple pie, and entitlement.  But we’re not here to talk about corporate domination. We’re here to talk about rum drinks. 

The term Cuba Libre, or “Free Cuba”, was first purported to be used in the mid-1800’s in regards to Cuba's fight for independence from Spain. The drink then associated would have been a mix of rum with honey or molasses, and water. The battle cry surfaced again during the Spanish-American war when an Army camp in Jacksonville, FL was dubbed, “Camp Cuba Libre”. There’s an apocryphal origin story where an American Army Captain stationed in Havana after the war squeezed a lime into a rum & Bacardi and toasted “por Cuba libre!”. Sounds to me like Bacardi may have had a hand in proliferating that tale. Especially since that was purported to happen in 1900 and Coke didn’t start exporting it’s syrup to Havana till 1902. 

The more probable narrative is that rum & coke grew naturally in popularity as drinking tourism spread throughout the Caribbean. Likely due to American palates changing post prohibition. Drinkers had gotten used to more mixer than spirit, due to a decade of hiding the flavor of bootleg whiskey.  No doubt some poor working class sob down in Havana was doing the same thing to mask cheap rum. 

After the war American business flooded into Cuba as part of that whole move to secure political power on the island. Coca-Cola of course being a natural fit as U.S. travelers began our legacy of not wanting to go anywhere we can’t get exactly what we have back home. Some adventurers. 

The mixture of rum and Coke did have a demonstrative rise in popularity during that sweet spot between post WW2 - pre Fidel. One such boost came in the form of the man who brought the pencil thin mustache to the islands before Buffett was even building sand castles. Mr. Errol Flynn. It’s true some of his transgressions would surely get him cancelled today, and for good reason, but there's no denying the epic role he played as one of Hollywood’s OG Caribbean cavorters. His rapacious reputation for imbibing made him a legend in Havana second only to Papa Hemingway himself. Sloppy Joe’s even created an eponymous cocktail for Errol that I’m sure we’ll cover at some point. But Mr. Flynn so loved the Cuba Libre such that the two became synonymous. When he wasn’t cutting a striking figure on the big screen Errol Flynn was cutting his rum with coca-cola in Havana. Unfortunately the accusations of him using this drink to seduce under-age actresses left a stain on his legacy that would take more than a little club soda to get out. While Errol’s amoral antics made their way through the Caribbean party crowd another boozy boon came in a bit more wholesome manner by way of the Andrew Sisters. 

Written by Lionel Belasco and originally recorded by calypso legend Lord Invader the song Rum & Coca-Cola was a rhythmic ode to our tipple of topic and the American expats who drank it. But when the Andrews Sisters released their version in 1945? Well, let’s just say we found out what made the bugle boy boogie. The hit song transformed the drink from a way to mask cheap rum into an amalgamation of Cuban-American standard drinking. Remember when PBR was a dollar fifty skunk beer, then Zac Brown mentioned it in a song and all of a sudden every bar in town started charging five bucks a can? It was like that. All it took then was for Bacardi to seize the opportunity claiming the drink as their own and finally the Cuba Libre was mainstream. 

Even back then it was looked down upon despite its popularity. Proud Cuban cantineros wouldn’t dare hold this tourist drink up alongside Mojitos, Daiquiris, or the Hotel Nacional cocktail. Decades later, even the Pina Colada would find greater favor as an island invention. But given how deeply rum & coke is ingratiate in not only cocktalia, but Americana, I contend the Cuba Libre is truly a creation in which the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. 

With that being said, let’s make a drink! 

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At first glance it would appear the addition of lime is the only distinction between a Cuba Libre and a regular old rum & coke, but the devil is in the details. In this case, preparation. How do most of us make a rum & coke? We eyeball a few ounces of rum into a tall glass, fill it with ice and top it off with cola. Of course, if you dump a bunch of syrupy soda into any booze it’s going to taste good. And although Errol Flynn’s recipe of one small bottle of Coke to one pint of Bacardi may do the trick for getting you there, there is not always a place you want to be. Especially in Errol’s case. But before we jump into recipes let’s go over ingredients. 

Rum. Of course the most traditional spirit would be an aged light Cuban rum like Havana Club 3 Años. As of right now it’s a little difficult to get that into the States, so I have a few alternatives. We want to go with a full flavor light rum. Though I don’t generally mind the flavor of Bacardi, it’s still a great rum, we want something rich enough to cut through the heavy notes of cola and sugar. As there aren’t many aged light rums on the American market I lean towards blends like Probitas from Foursquare, Plantation 3 Star, or El Dorado light Demerara, which I believe is actually aged 3 years. Denizen white is also a new fav in the Pod Tiki household. For this one it truly does depend on which one you personally enjoy the taste of. 

I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I don’t like a dark rum & coke. Jamaica rum is great and a spiced Captain and Coke is wonderful around the holidays, but that’s a different drink. So, stick with light rum for Cuba Libres. 

As for the cola, regular Coke tends to be overly sugar syrupy with the high fructose and all that so I go for the Mexican Coke in the glass bottle. It still uses real sugar and, let’s be honest, the classic bottle looks cool. If you can’t find it at the grocery store any Mexican market should carry it.

And, of course, some fresh limes. 

As aforementioned preparation is key between a rum & coke and a Cuba Libre. So, here we go:

2 oz Light Rum

½ oz Lime Juice

4 oz Coca-Cola

Ice

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True to the Sloppy Joe’s procedure, first shake the rum and lime juice in a shaker with ice, strain into a tall glass, (a pilsner glass works best), then stir in the Coca-Cola and top off with ice. This ensures a well balanced drink. Garnish with a lime wedge and wallah! There you have a true Cuba Libre.  

Notice the small amount of cola pushes the rum forward rather than cover it up. Some cantineros and mixologists alike have begun adding Angostura to their Cuban cocktails. With cola I find it gives the drink a tannic rusty flavor. For my cigar geeks out there, I smoked a Viva La Vida Robusto with this and it was great. 

Finding out the links and stories that contribute to the lore of these drinks is really a bonus of Pod Tiki I was not expecting when I started. In that regard no other drink really connects so many facets of tropiki than the Cuba Libre. From Americana, Prohibition, to post-war expats, through the golden age of Cuban-American tourism, Jimmy Buffett singing about Errol Flynn’s pencil thin mustache, to 1940’s pop song anthems, from frat parties to Caribbean beaches, as long as bartenders have Coke in their guns and Bacardi on the shelf, as long as hipsters, historians, and enthusiasts like us endeavor to honor and build upon the past, and as long as people want a simple classic drink to raise a glass and toast their victories, whether it’s revolution or just making it to Friday, there will always be the Cuba Libre! 

Credits: Imbibe.com article by Paul Clarke, Liquor.com article by Amy Zavatto, Wikipedia, Potions of the Caribbean by Jeff Berry, Makemeacocktail.com article by Suzanna H.   

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Pod Tiki: The Hurricane

“C’mon. Quit bein’ a pollyanna.” 

“You won’t be jabberin’ so tough with a G-Man in your mug.” 

“We’re in New Orleans, pal. The liquor capital of America. Rum runners come right up the Pontchartrain. Europe, the Caribbean, Mexico, booze from all over. And it’s everywhere. Waitress gotta flask up her sleeve, cabbie’s gotta bottle under the seat. Heck, its these people’s livelihood. Used to be on the up and up, too, before those teetotaling bastards pulled this prohibition.”

“Luckily it’s not tea we’re looking for, eh?” 

The two men shared an anxious chuckle as they strolled inconspicuously through the French Quarter; Up Royal Street till they came to St. Peter where they saw the door. 

“S’gotta be the place, right? But how we gonna get in?”

“Just leave that to me”, the first man said approaching the door. Hesitating, a brief moment of nervous gravitas washing over the man, the door cracked before he could even knock. Instinctively he leaned in and whispered the passwords, “storm’s brewin’”. 

At that time the establishment would’ve been known as Mr. O’brian’s Club Tipperary. Technically it was a speakeasy, but in the Big Easy the topic of booze never went unspoken. Way before the obstinate abstainers got their 19th century undies in a bunch New Orleans was already a thriving Mecca of cocktail culture. As the premier port city of the south New Orleans was teeming with saloons able to offer spirits from around the world. So ingrained in the culture and economy of the town was liquor consumption that New Orleanians saw the Volstead Act as a personal affront. And in the city where, “a wink will get you a drink”, citizens did everything they could to undermine the sober authorities. 

Think of it like when the first U.S. states legalized medical marijuana. All of a sudden a whole lot of people came down with anxiety, or insomnia, or that ol’ bum knee. Stoners across the U.S. zipped the bottom half of their cargo pants back on and made their way to the weed doc to get that sweet sweet medical card. We all know it now and they all knew it back then. New Orleans never stopped drinking despite lawmakers best efforts.

It’s said that 10,000 laws were broken in New Orleans alone the first year of prohibition. Cars sold curbside booze, speakeasies openly hid in office buildings, and “soft drink stands” sold bathtub hooch to the less fortunate. Heck, if you slid a buck under any window in New Orleans it’d open a minute later with a demitasse of liquor and a mixer on the side. They called that a “small black”, and that’s true. 

Alas, the mouse finally outran the cat and on December 3 1933 the Club Tipperary opened its doors as a legal liquor establishment, Pat O'Brien's Bar: Home of the Hurricane! 

Ladies and Gentlemen, grab a hold of that stop sign bending in the feter band winds and hunker down, we’re about to venture into the eye of the storm. 

~~~   

Repealing of prohibition didn’t spell an immediate return to business as usual. Highly sought after scotches and brandies were hard to come by. But with easy access through the gulf and up the river liquor merchants were lousy with Caribbean rum.  Tavern owners would be strongarmed into purchasing multiple cases of rum for the opportunity to procure a small amount of whiskey. The perceived problem came in how to unload all this rum on patrons who just spent a decade without their Sazeracs and Vieux Carres. To do this they found, years before Mary Poppins, that a spoonful of sugar does indeed help the medicine go down. Implementing the old velveeta on the broccoli technique Pat O'Brien's head bartender Louis Culligan came up with the idea of adding lemon juice and passion fruit syrup to a bunch of rum. Honestly, they didn’t expect much but a way to hide the rum flavors that hadn’t quite caught on in the U.S. market yet. Turns out their subterfuge was in vain. People loved it. 

But why stop there? Why not make every drink a double and relieve yourself of twice the rum? Louis Culligan eschewed the old 3 of strong 4 of weak mantra boasting a whopping 4 oz of rum in his new concoction. An argument can be made that for those unable to travel to the islands New Orleans drinking culture and this drink in particular helped repopularize rum in America. 

And what modality of glassware could accommodate such a prodigious libation? The gulf coastal people of Louisiana are no strangers to tropical storms. To protect an oil lamp’s flame from the windy inclemency tall glass chimneys were affixed to what became known as hurricane lamps. These chimneys ranged in size and took the form of a bulb at the base tapering upwards and flowering out like a blunderbuss. Modeled after these chimneys, the new hurricane glass was larger than any other and added a flare to the drink that was supposed to be a gimmick, after all. As a souvenir Pat O'Brien's branded hurricane glasses soon became just as much a commodity as tasting the original recipe itself.  

For such a simple tipple the Hurricane holds a rare place in tropikidom, being born of necessity rather than profit. What a deliciously diabolical dalliance. Let’s make a drink.

~~~

We’re going to cover two recipes here, the classic and the modern. If I knew how many of these drinks had conflicting origins or myraid variations before starting Pod Tiki I may have stuck to recreation over recitation. I swear, these tiki drinks are driving me to drink. 

Speaking of, let’s talk about rum, baby. I would venture to guess there was no standard style of rum originally used. Given the circumstances of the drink’s humble beginnings Pat O’Brien’s probably used whatever rum was foisted upon them by the liquor distributors. Notwithstanding, I think dark jamaica rum is a pretty solid assumption as it’s been a fav in the U.S. since, well, before there was a U.S. You’ll see recipes calling for navy strength, (which is based off the Jamaican style), or any aged rum. You want to go with something bold enough to cut through a heavy sweetness but given the 4 oz of rum per serving I’d forgo navy strength. Unless you are actually trying to recreate the sensation of being at sea during a hurricane. You guys know what I’m reaching for here. Myers’s Original dark is still my go to for earthy heavy molasses funk. Though I will say I have recently struck up a love affair with Coruba. It’s a bit sweeter and a tad less funky but is extremely flavorful and dark. Problem is it’s harder to find. I kinda understand why most in & outs don’t stock it, as it’s pretty much the same product as the more popular Myers’s. The latter of which is more expensive as well. Either one will do. 

The next culprit in this troublesome trio is passion fruit syrup. Passion fruit truly is the unsung hero of a lot of tropical drinks. That fruit flavor you just can’t put your finger on but seems to pop up again and again in rum punches and house cocktails? That’s passion fruit. Of course you can always venture to make your own by boiling or steeping the fruit in simple syrup. For you fresh fruit nerds like me out there, replacing passion fruit syrup with a 2:1 mix of passion fruit puree and simple syrup works as well. But in these our  cocktailian times there are plenty of good options for passion fruit syrup. If you can’t find a local brand by you, Monin has a good one for cheap. That’s what I used here. It has a ton of flavor, a nuance of spice bite, and is sweet enough without being overbearing. 

Where the Venn diagram of the hurricane crosses into tiki is Fassionola syrup. The elusive ingredient is still a mystery as far as I can find. Sources say it was used in the original hurricane, while others say it was invented by Don the Beachcomber in the early 1930’s and the recipe subsequently taken to the grave. The timelines are congruent, but if Don invented it in California how did it get to Louis Culligan in New Orleans? Is this a case of simultaneous invention, or perhaps individual bartenders each had a version of a similar mixture later made famous by tiki? Either way, the argument is moot. For the original is gone forever. That is, until Jeff “Beachbum” Berry finds the recipe written-in-invisible-ink-on-the-back-of-a-portrait-of-a-palm-tree-in-Pasadena- leaning-against-the-wall-at-a-yard-sail-at-the-home-of-the-great-nephew’s-cousin’s-ex-girlfriend’s-step-dad’s-storage-unit. He always seems to figure it out. So, I’m putting the call out for you, Jeff. Help us find this lost elixir. For now, all we know is that a passion fruit, orange juice, grenadine mixture is often suggested. More on that later. My guess is that a mixture of fruit and syrup and grenadine was made in order to get drinks out more rapidly, something Don Beach was known for. I mean, can you imagine getting an order for 2 Zombies, a Mai Tai Swizzle, Planter’s Punch, and 3 Hurricanes? Making them all each ingredient at a time like we usually do as shadetree mixologists would surely excite the ire of waiting customers losing their buzz by the minute. 

Lastly, but certainly not leastly, we will need some fresh lemon juice. 

Pretty straight forward on this one;

4 oz Dark Jamaica Rum

2 oz Passion Fruit Syrup

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2 oz Lemon Juice

Add all that to a shaker with about a cup of ice and Shake da-ting now, badda-badda shake da-ting, now...sorry, my 90’s come’s out when I drink hurricanes. Pour unstrained into a hurricane glass add ice to fill and garnish with skewered cherry and lemon wheel. 

Badda-bing! You really can’t go wrong with this simple yet effective potion to stave off those tropical depressions. Yes, it’s sweet, it’s supposed to be, that’s where the funky dark rum offers balance. Lemon juice adds a freshness rounding out the sharp sweetness of passion fruit syrup. Certainly not a session drink I would put this right up there just under a zombie in terms of intoxication. 

But wait! (He said pointing a finger to the sky), there’s more. I’m not gonna call this the modern version, because the actual modern Pat O’Brien’s Hurricane is an abominable sanguine saccharine palaver of posterity. The grenadine heavy modern version has left me a suffering bastard on more than one occasion stumbling out of the Pat O’Brien’s in Orlando as a dumb twenty-something. 

For that reason, I’m gonna call this variant the Tiki version, as at first it strongly resembles a Planter’s Punch; But the passion fruit, orange juice, grenadine mix is actually a tip of the cap to what some think was the Fassionola mix used by Don the Beachcomber. 

I’ve spent weeks tirelessly sampling slight differences in hurricane recipes, much to the chagrin of my waistline, to find what I think is the perfect tiki hurricane. In true tiki fashion this recipe calls for a mix of rums. I suggest Plantation 3 Star for your light as it maintains the qualities of higher end rums at a reasonable price. Here we go:

2 oz Dark Jamaica Rum (Myers’ Original Dark)

2 oz Aged Light rum (Plantation 3 Star)

1 oz Lime Juice

1 oz Orange Juice

1 oz Passion Fruit Syrup

½ oz Simple Syrup

1 tsp Grenadine 

Shake your bodyline with ice and dump unstrained into that big ass hurricane glass. Add ice to top if needed and garnish with skewered lime wheel, cherry, orange wheel, and mint. Oh, and don’t forget the umbrella. It is a hurricane, after all. 

There it is, folks. But there are a few more things I wanna bring up before we go drunkenly into this good night. I’ve used the speakeasy framework before to open Pod Tiki. It could be perceived as lazy writing on my part, but I really wanted to relay how blatantly New Orleans held out against prohibition. The Hurricane was born of a culture that epitomizes what drinking should be. People there drink and enjoy it, but also get shit done and live productive lives. I believe it’s the outsiders and tourists that have turned Folly chasing Death around a broken column of Life, into Stupidity chasing Regret around a coed flashing her boobs. 

I miss the days, though, of opening episodes with personal stories. So, let me drop a few on ya here. There was indeed a Pat O’Brien’s in Orlando, FL where I grew up. And as a part of what I’ll call “The Pod Tiki research years”, let’s just say I’ve been a few times. The bar was modeled after the original in New Orleans complete with the iconic flaming water fountain and beautifully landscaped courtyard adorned with vines and palm trees and tropical plants. In one corner there was a round booth tucked into some overgrowth to form a sort of grotto. As a group of friends including myself were sitting there enjoying our drinks the manager came over and informed us we would have to move tables because a high profile guest needed the privacy of the spot we were in. As we were shuffling out of our seats Kid Rock and his entourage came around the corner to take our place. He was actually super apologetic and cool about kicking us out of our seats. Bought us a round and let us hang out and drink it as well as took pictures with some of our group. As we thanked him for the round and moved on he sat there with a blonde on his knee and another beside him, a few hangers on around the table and security standing by. Bawitdaba, buddy. Bawitdaba, indeed. 

Another time I was there with my buddy, we’ll call him Nick, ‘cuz that’s his name. He offered to buy a round and asked me what I wanted while heading off to the bar. I answered just not something too sweet. Of course, he returned with a giant hurricane. Red, cloyingly sweet. That mixture of syrup, grenadine, and so-so rum that creates a medicinal taste. But, loathe was my twenty-something self to refuse a free drink. We walked out to his car still sipping out of the novelty large hurricane glasses, finished them, and headed home. About a week later, when my headache finally subsided, Nick started hearing a disturbing knock under his car. This persisted for weeks till he eventually took the vehicle to a mechanic, who informed him the sound his car was making was actually two giant hurricane glasses that had been rolling around under his seat. A testament to the quality of the glassware, if nothing else. 

The last thing I want to mention is the idea of the Hurricane being the most famous drink associated with a city that’s been devastated by hurricanes. In this age of cancel culture and the Washington Football Team, is it disrespectful? I’ve balanced upon a few social  justice soap boxes in my day, but here’s why I think the hurricane earns a pass. New Orleans has been beset by mother nature since the pirate days. Much like the islands the people in Florida and up around the gulf coast accept tropical storms as a part of life. You haven’t truly experienced the tropics till you’ve seen a palm tree bend down and touch the ground. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging the natural acts of God that affect us. Much like a 21 gun salute at a military funeral uses the weapon that most likely caused the tragedy to honor it, when you raise a hurricane glass to toast New Orleans you are paying homage to an American city that has persevered throughout the ages. And that pretty much proves the point of the opening act of this podcast. For people that can stare down a hurricane and still stand tall in the aftermath, their not gonna let a few sober sally’s from the government tell them they can’t have a drink, by God. And that’s death taking a shot at folly for once!  

On that note, my name is Tony and this has been Pod Tiki. Thank you for listening and please always drink responsibly.   

Credits: Remixed by Jeff “Beachbum” Berry, Liquor.com, The Original Hurricane Recipe article by Moody Mixologist, Wikipedia, The Historic New Orleans Collection, whereyat.com article by Burke Bischoff, Rum Stories: The History of the Hurricane by Paul Senft.

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Pod Tiki: Port Light

I spent most of my thirties in a personal renaissance. Introspective and wayward. Trying to follow in footsteps long smoothed out by the tides of time. I looked for Bukowski and Poe in bottles, scoured the honky-tonks for Hank, Waylon and Cash, floated on Jazz currents till I smashed into Rock n Roll, haunted a church pew, and plied Caribbean shores behind Hemingway, Buffett, and Thompson. But one must be careful when searching for idols, lest you find one.   

Sometimes you get lucky. Sometimes you find a spot where you can smell the musty sweet scent of history lingering, the energy of space bathed in the patina of time. The exhalations of memories, lingering, ethereal moments like ghosts in time’s fading photograph. You simply feel it. Not on your skin but in your spirit. It’s the experience of feeling excited and content at the same time. It’s a feeling of belonging, belonging to the same or similar experience as someone you want to connect with. I can close my eyes and imagine what it must’ve been like in their time. Then, slowly, history fades to present and I am hit with the astounding revelation that I am indeed there now making my own memory. Leaving my own entry into the records of succession. Perhaps someday someone will come searching for me in my footsteps. 

A bit dramatic for a Tiki podcast, huh? But it’s not all about rum and fruit juice. Well, not all the time. At the heart of Tiki is indeed exploration. Whether literally across oceans, escaping to a local temple of tipple, or trying a new drink recipe at home and letting yourself shake off your space-time shackles for a few. 

Yeah, sometimes we get lucky, but sometimes we don’t. The greatest tragedy in any historical endeavor is the fact that these people, places, cultural moments in time, are indeed and indelibly gone. We’ll never share a Papa Doble with Hemingway at La Floridita, watch Harry Yee sling Blue Hawaii’s, or experience the heyday bacchanal of the Myrtle Bank Hotel in Jamaica. 

Some of these memorable places are kept alive in cheap plastic posterity. Sometimes we can create a special moment, sometimes they happen by providence. Still we must, begrudgingly at times, accept that those snapshots are lost forever; but for us who keep them alive in cheap plastic podcasts. 

Welcome to Pod Tiki. 


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One such Tiki temple of yesteryear was the Kahiki Supper Club. It was 1957 when owners Bill Sapp and Lee Henry began traversing the South Pacific and scouring the U.S. to inspire their new endeavor. It would be bigger, more dynamic and elaborate than any tiki restaurant in the nation. They succeeded. For when the Kahiki Supper Club opened its doors in 1961 it boasted a sloped canoe roof, two large easter island statues flanking the doorway, mock rainforests, thatch huts, fountains and a massive 3 story tall fireplace. As one of the largest tiki themed palaces in the U.S. Kahiki offered an extensive menu of potions too, rivaling that of the Trader himself.  

The likes of  Zsa Zsa Gabor, Milton Berle, Bob Hope, Andy Williams, and Mia Farrow made their way to Columbus, Ohio to be seen sipping during the height of pop-tiki culture. Kahiki served as one of the basis for what tiki restaurants should and would look like thereafter. The irrevocable Beachcomber, the veritable Godfather of tiki himself, would be proud to see what his vision spawned. This undeniable Mecca went so far as to offer the Mystery Bowl, a libation which would be served by a “mystery girl”, of course, who danced the incorrigible concoction to the tables of willing vict.. I mean, patrons. 

Sapp and Henry sold the business in 1988 and in 1997 it was listed on the National Registry of Historic Places. Unfortunately, for all its glory, due to a significant loss of revenue, in 2000 the building was sold and subsequently demolished to build - a Walgreens. The business is survived by a line of Kahiki frozen foods. Some historic place.

Hope remains in two forms though, one: the Fraternal Order of Moai was founded in 2005 to preserve the history and artifacts of the restaurant, and two: Sandro Conti.  

Sandro Conti was the bartender at Kahiki in the 1960’s credited for creating one of the most popular Tiki drinks you didn’t know you know. It resides in the corner of most menus and you would know the specialized mug if you saw it, but may have had reservations regarding the incredulous ingredients. Before you cast aspersions I assure you this drink has withstood the test of time for a reason. So now, finally, after all my ramblings, we get to this episode’s drink: The Port Light. 



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Luckily for my liver there are only two versions of the Port Light, thus named for its reddish hue. The mug for this drink is actually part of the overall experience. It’s a red and gold mug shaped like the lantern that would be hung on the port side of ships. A green lantern signified starboard. This would inform other ships, or inebriated sailors of your own, which way the vessel was directed. Next time you see a plane overhead take notice of the red and green lights blinking on each wing. A holdover from their nautical brethren. 

The first recipe we’re gonna cover is Sandro Conti’s original which comes to us courtesy of Tiki historian Jeff Berry. We owe Beachbum Berry multitudes of praise for putting in the work, both academically and practically, in resurrecting these recipes and true tiki-pop culture as a whole. Buuuuuut… I take umbrage with a few of his recipes as I believe he fills in the gaps with personal preference. This is only conjecture, but I contend when dealing with bygone tiki drinks it’s better to assume the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law. 

Before we get into it though, ahem … let’s make a drink! 

What separates this drink from its peers and may look suspect to some is the absence of rum. The port light is one of the few tiki/tropical drinks to utilize bourbon as its spirit. And why not? It’s not like rum is Polynesian either. Hell, it’s not like tiki means polynesian. Tiki is an amalgamation of travels, so maybe Sandro travelled to Kentucky. This time around I used Evan Williams Single Barrel Vintage. It has that distinct Evan Williams flavor but not as potent. I like this as a sipping bourbon but that funk helps cut through tiki drinks in the same way Jamaica rum does. I could also recommend Bulleit Bourbon, another with a strong profile to stand against tikidom. But, if you’re not a bourbon drinker, or you simply don’t want to use your good stuff for mixing I cannot extol enough the virtues of good ol’ standard Four Roses. (It’s what I used in the Suffering Bastard episode.) 

Moving on, this time we use lemon as our citrus rather than lime. The spice of lime clashes a bit with the passion fruit and lemon adds a brightness to the topography of this drink. Always use fresh squeezed. ‘Cuz who doesn’t like a squeeze, especially when it’s fresh. (Insert eye-brow wag.)

That brings us to Passion Fruit syrup. I use Monin, but there are myriad recipes out there for homemade if that’s your choosing. Also we will need some grenadine. Conversely to last time, when I claimed store bought was fine, I feel like this is a drink that greatly benefits from homemade or high-end grenadine. We want fruit to come out over sweetness, which is added in plenty due to the passion syrup. 

Now, I’ve had a bit of a revelation of sorts recently. I try to be as authentic as possible when recreating these drinks. In that same way I try, too hard sometimes, to recreate the past when traveling. No matter how veritable the source, how close the degree of separation, or how clear the rendition, no recipe we ever find is going to taste like the original because any bartender in any tiki establishment worth their weight in rum has a proprietary twist. Maybe it’s a flick of the wrist when dashing bitters, or eyeballing that orgeat a little heavy. Even the originators of all our drinks thus far have had a small trade secret they haven't let out. 

To be pedantic one could say only Don the Beachcomber and Trader Vic recipes are “authentic”, but what of folks like Sandro Conti who created a time honored classic but was overshadowed by the men to formed the genre? Who does the label of “authentic” go to? And by that rationale I say my opinion is that there is a difference between a new drink coming out during the height of the time and new tiki drinks being created now. I believe the new drinks should have a new classification. They are not Tiki drinks unless they were invented during the heyday of Tiki. Much like a speakeasy drink cannot be called such if it was created modern day by some mustachioed hipster. 

Here at Pod Tiki I attempt to make my recipes as classic and authentic as possible. But sometimes the letter of the law gets in the way of the spirit. The following is the most balanced version I can create within the boundaries of the original recipe. Ingredients are the same but I had to lower the syrups and and increase the bourbon to balance it out for a modern nuanced palate. 

Here we go:

1 oz Lemon Juice

1 tsp Passion Fruit Syrup

1 tsp Grenadine

2 oz Bourbon

½ cup of crushed ice

 Add everything to a blender and pulse it for about five seconds. Pour and top off with more crushed ice. This drink is quite sweet and fruity but with some malty depth. Careful not to add too much bourbon, that seems to just over bourbify it. (Yes, I just made that word up.) Blending with a small amount of crushed ice adds a frothy effervescence to the drink, but I have another trick. Add a small egg white (½ oz) and up the passion fruit syrup to ½ oz. Blending with a small amount of crushed ice is what usually gives Tiki drinks that mystical bubbly look, but I find this to be a welcome alternative that levels out the disparate flavors. Vacillating between sweet and bourbony in a very pleasant exchange of flavors the frothiness of the eggwhite actually tones down the bourbon kick and the sweetness while adding a creamy mouthfeel making this a surprisingly nuanced and well rounded drink. The lemon juice and passion fruit meld well with bourbon giving this a slight spice cutting through rich fruity notes. Not to mention it looks really cool the way crushed ice floats in pink froth, like glaciers on a unicorn sea. If you’re concerned about the raw egg, don’t be. Alright, you can use an egg white substitute if you’re worried, but I think it takes away from the fresh dairy flavor real egg adds. 

I find shaking works better with egg white so we can forgo the blender and grab a shaker for this one. Add lemon, passion fruit, grenadine, bourbon, and egg white to the shaker without ice and dry shake till frothy. Then add 1 cup crushed ice and shake again. Pour unstrained into a Port Light mug or clear Collins glass. Top off with ice and garnish with expressed mint.  


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The reason I’m so inclined to include this next recipe is because it comes directly from a former Trader Vic Bartender.  Martin Cate now heads up the lauded San Fran Tiki Bar Smuggler’s Cove, but before that he earned his legendary status mixing up progentic potions behind the bar of Trader Vic’s. Mr. Cate deserves a podcast of his own someday so I won’t go into his story now, we’ll just say he adapted this recipe by walking the deck. You see, his version borrows from another drink called the Starboard Light. In this the bourbon is swapped for scotch and the grenadine for honey syrup. (A 1:1 honey:water mix). Cate marries the port and starboard lights and uses the egg, which is where I got the idea. Here’s his recipe adjusted slightly:


2 oz Bourbon

¾ oz Lemon Juice

½ oz Honey Syrup

1 tsp Passion Fruit Syrup

½ oz Egg White (1 small egg)

Personally I prefer the original. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this version, it’s a well balanced tasty cocktail, it’s just that this is a separate drink in my book. 

The Port Light tiki drink is a wonderful addition to anyone’s repertoire. It’s different enough to not get lost among the various similar flavor profiles of punch-based tiki concoctions. While remaining an outlier it deserves a place of independence among Mai Tais, Zombies, and Suffering Bastards. Not to mention it’s a perfect introduction for bourbon drinkers into that Tiki life. Fruity, but rounded out with depth and frothiness. Better suited for a dark jungle theme than a sunny beach the Port Light exemplifies the range of Tiki drink culture. 

For my cigar folks out there, I would go with something dark and strong. Something to cut through the fruity sweetness but accent the bourbon. That’s why I am suggesting the Bella Artes by AJ Fernandez. Or, if boutique is more your jam, the Accomplice Maduro by Principle Cigar. 

The Kahiki may be gone, but with the recent tiki revival there are plenty of altars to visit.  You know, Martin Cate exemplifies the story of this episode. Following in the footsteps of Trader Vic then venturing out on his own.  

As a writer I’ve travelled to many personal Meccas and followed in many footsteps. From Nashville to Key West to Havana to Jamaica. But, it’s the detours; The weekends alone on the beach in Cocoa and Destin, visiting my daughter at Amelia Island, the log cabin fire with my wife, sitting on the banks of the Mississippi river in Illinois. Life’s parentheticals took me on side quests, but always returned me to the path of footsteps laid out by those I sought. Not only famous types, either. Also the virtues of my family and friends who hold traits I admire and aspire to fold into my own being. One set of footsteps hold a heralded place in my heart, though. Sebastian “Ben” Annella. My grandpa. This past Christmas my uncle bestowed upon me one of the greatest gifts I have ever received, my grandfather’s flight jacket. I could never describe the smell of that worn leather. It smells like my childhood. It’s good to have a guide. Yet, my wife recently helped me realize that for all my searching for those I wish to emulate, the times I’ve risen above my talent is when I’ve been original. It’s the reason I started Pod Tiki. I often wonder what my grandpa would think of me now, of the things I’ve done and places I’ve been. But the most important part of following in others footsteps is knowing when to jump out and make your own.  

So, sail your ship responsibly and most of all, thank you for listening to Pod Tiki. 


Credits: Beachbum Berry Remixed by Jeff Berry, Jordan ? cocktailchem.blogspot.com, Deb Lindsey for The Washington Post, dispatch.com, and Wikipedia




Pod Tiki: George Washington's Egg Nog

GEORGE: Martha! Martha!

MARTHA: Yes, George?

G: Did Alexander leave while I was in the bathroom?

M: Yes, dear. Mr. Hamilton said he had to - write something down?

G: That boy. Someday I’m going to have to teach him how to say goodbye.

M: What dear?

G: Nothing, nothing. Martha, have you seen the rum?

M: In your quarters

G: The brandy?

M: In your quarters.

G: The Sherry?

M: In your quarters.

G: The whiskey?

M: In my quarters.

G: Huh?

M: Uh, nevermind. I’ll get it.

(Bottles clinking)

M: What’s all this for, George?

G: Well, do you know what time it is, Martha? (sexy voice)

M: Not tonight dear, I’m not in the mood.

G: No, no. Not that. Although, now that you mention it …

M: George!

G: Ahem. Martha, it’s the holiday season and time for George Washington’s world famous egg nog!

M: iiiiiiiiiiiiiis it though? World famous?

G: Well, new world famous… get it?

M: Oh, brother.

G: As we’ve crossed the precipice of greatness to form this new nation…

M: You don’t have to talk like that. It’s just us.

G: ... these colonies, indivisible…

M: oookay, we’re doing this.

G: … are under God! And what better way to celebrate this, the Holy Christmas season than to join our countrymen…

M: And women.

G: ... in the bond of …

M: Nog?

G: Yes, Martha. Nog, nog.

M: Who’s there?

G: A history lesson from the first president of the United States.

M: How meta.

G: Huh?

M: The future will get it.

G: You see, Martha …

M: I’m listening. (voice slowly fades away from mic) I’ll just be over here listening, yep that’s me, loooove to listen to this story … listen listen list-

G: You know, Martha, it may come as a surprise to some to learn I have a bit of a propensity towards the Jamaican rum.

M: (sarcastically) No surprise to anyone who’s seen our shipping receipts.

G: What’s that, dear?

M: Nothing, my love. You just keep telling your story while I handle this… (dishes clanging)

G: Ahem, of course. You see, the origins of our holiday tipple go all the way back to the middle ages. To a drink called Posset. Poor folks would heat the hard to come by milk mixed with cheap wine or ale as a medicine. Conversely, the upper class would mix up milk and wine with sugar and exotic spices, ooh la la, and consume the mixture as a dessert.

M: Hmm… Necessity of the poor, frivolity of the rich.

G: Indeed. The immortal bard himself made reference to both uses in his respective plays. Eggs came into play in the 17th and 18th centuries as the treat became associated with more of a custard. Furthermore the mix would be allowed to cool overnight. These additions created a drink what they called a syllabub. A creamier, frothier result was desired. In some cases the milk would be taken straight from the cow’s udder into the pot. This was to add maximum frothiness.

M: That’s kinda gross.

G: But as popularity waned in Europe the drink had found legs here in the colonies during the 18th century. It was here elementary versions of eggnog morphed from an indulgence for the wealthy to a common treat. This aided greatly by our Caribbean endeavors. You see, as many colonists could not easily come by the heavily taxed European wines and brandies they turned to the readily available and affordable rums.

M: And whiskey.

G: During this time the drink was served warm again, to keep the milk and eggs from spoiling. This began associating the beverage with wintertime. Some say it derived from the Flip, a tipple in which beaten cream, eggs, and sugar were added to strong beer and rum, then heated with the loggerhead. A loggerhead is a long rod with a ball at the end which when heated over a fire and dipped into the mixture causes flash heating. That these tools were often used as weapons in barroom disputes is where we get the term, “coming to loggerheads.” It was also here the nomenclature of our drink became more recognizable. As rummy booze was commonly referred to as grog the drink was known as egg’n’grogg. Here’s the kicker, this rendition was served in the wooden cup we know as a noggin. Hence the modern term “eggnog”! You know, Colonel Thayler and twenty students started a riot and were court martialed at West Point for getting drunk on eggnog.

M: And so it goes eggnog fell out of fashion in the 1800’s as a standard tipple, over time transforming into a convivial holiday libation when Christmas was seen more as a season for gathering and festivity. Revel and bacchanalia made overtures towards religious sanctity.

G: Martha, have you gotten into the whiskey again.

M: Hush. The temperance movement put the kibosh on imbibement. Teetotaling puritans claimed, (in a stuffy voice) "much of the drunkenness which too frequently disgraces Christmas Day is due to the free liquor and egg-nog of the barrooms, in which young and old can fill themselves full enough during the early hours of the morning to keep drunk all day."

G: (laughing) Yeah, right. Teetotalers.

M: George, please. Ahem, due to the love by certain presidents of this drink - its popularity “spiked”, pun intended, after World War II. Unfortunately, eggnog suffered the fate of many libations during the dreaded 20th century. Lurid premade mixes, even non-alcoholic versions were sold.

G: By God, Martha. Of what is this dystopian future you speak of?!

M: Not to worry, Georgey. The turn of the century will find a movement toward tradition and against the untoward abominations of our beloved huletime habits.

G: Grace be to our one nation under…

M: God, help us.

G: Every one. Huh? Oh. Back to the present day. Rum has played an integral role in the New World. For better or worse we can thank the Caribbean rum trade for financing the economic infrastructure for independence. Do you know every American consumes about 4 gallons of rum per year?

M: Another facet of freedom in which you overachieve.

G: Yes, yes. Well, you recall the story of my first foray into politics.

M: But, please. Regale me again. I’ll just have another nip of this whiskey.

G: The year was 1757. Oh, I was young and naive. I was running for the House of Burgesses. The other candidates all served rum refreshments while I thought I could run simply upon my merits! It was the only election I ever lost. Upon running the following year I served 28 gallons of rum, 50 gallons of rum punch, 46 gallons of beer, 34 gallons of wine, and 2 gallons of cider for good measure, partridges and pears trees seemed to be in short supply. Needless to say, I won. During the war I truly learned why. Merit will earn men’s respect, but rum earns their lives. Poor rum rations almost cost us the war. I even wrote to congress once, “When we take into consideration how precious the lives of our men are, how much their health depends upon a liberal use of Spirits, [W]e cannot hesitate to determine that the Public ought to incur a small expense ... and preserve the lives of a great number of men. ... I consider it therefore a duty to them as well as to my Country to request that the 50 Hogsheads of Rum ... may be procured and forwarded as soon as it is practicable.” The people’s contributions kept our men in good spirits. If it wasn’t for Britain cutting supply lines to their island colonies in the first place, but alas, now we can trade of our own volition. Which is good because between you and I and Medford, American rum leaves something to be desired of its Jamaican counterpart.

Even at Mount Vernon, where our whiskey and Brandies are not to be trifled with, our distillery cannot mimic the essence of that potent West Indies spirit.

Now, all this framework is making me thirsty. Let’s jot this recipe down for posterity...

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“One quart cream, one quart milk, one dozen tablespoons sugar, one pint brandy, ½ pint rye whiskey, ½ pint Jamaica rum, ¼ pint sherry

—mix liquor first,

then separate yolks and whites of 12 eggs,

add sugar to beaten yolks,

mix well.

Add milk and cream, slowly beating.

Beat whites of eggs until stiff and fold slowly into mixture.

Let set in cool place for several days.

Taste frequently.”

For sugar we have raw cane from the tropics. The rye and brandy we make here, the sherry will be French, and the rum undoubtedly Jamaican.

M: That’s certainly enough booze to kill any bacteria if we were worried about raw eggs.

G: Indeed. Hard to believe this was once a summer drink when Acrelius is quoted calling it, “good for dysentery and loose bowels.”

M: We don’t need any loose bowels around here. Not with how full of shit you all are. “Created equal” my ass. Maybe if we were allowed in taverns there’d be some founding mothers signatures on that declaration.

G: Don’t look at me, Thomas wrote it.

M: Men. (sarcastically)

G: Oh, look at that. The nog is ready. After a day or two of cooling be sure to shake up well before pouring. This will froth up the libation. Those who prefer a thicker sweeter treat can use heavy whipping cream and increase the sugar by a ¼ cup, but my original is meant to be a thinner, frothier, very boozy concoction. It should be sipped from your favorite holiday mug and topped with a bit of ground nutmeg.

M: The booze is quite prevalent, but the eggy creaminess is very lovely.

G: There is one truth that I hold self-evident, that we will be getting quite drunk this evening. So, why don’t we blow those candles out and take the rest of this nog to our quarters.

M: Oh, George. (blushingly)

George & Martha: Merry Christmas!

Sources: And a bottle of rum - by Wayne Curtis, Alcohol Professor article by Brian Petro, and a liquor.com article by Ben Schaffer

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Pod Tiki: El Presidente

Nay does it matter which candidate you voted for. Heck, it doesn’t even matter which country’s presidency is up for election. The undeniable, unrelenting truth is that voting for the people we choose to represent us in government and our government to the world is the most basic intrinsic patriotic right we can exercise as citizens of our respective nations. Are the processes perfect, the candidates always ideal? Of course not. But personally I will take a flawed attempt at democracy over having no say at all. 

Don’t worry, this episode will not devolve into a political diatribe. I refuse to use my platform of fun and silliness as a framework to divide my audience via party lines. The only party we are affiliated with here is a luau. I guess you could say we are the Tiki party? 

That being said I would be remiss to pass up the opportunity to capitalize on an episode I almost let slip by. It didn’t even occur to me till after the election this year (2020) that there was a drink that fits perfectly. In the spirit of full transparency I was going to throw together another homemade fall-inspired drink to fill some space while I worked on the big Christmas episode, till I came across a recipe I had totally forgotten about. 

To listeners of this show it’s no secret I have an infatuation with Cuba that goes beyond the fact that it is so central to our cocktailian narrative. The country’s relationship with the U.S., untenable as it may be at times, is so incredibly interesting. From U.S. presidents involved in Cuban politics to Prohibition tourism to the mob taking over Havana to the Cuban Revolution our nations have been inextricably bound in a sort of your-leading-no-I’m-leading-ouch-you-stepped-on-my-toe tango that’s both polarizing and uniting. Much like that annoying uncle who wants to bring up politics at the Thanksgiving table. 

That’s why this episode’s cocktail not only fits by name, but also leans into the very nature of our relationship with our neighbors to the south. It’s time to don your business happy-hour attire and find yourself a nice tawdry chair in whatever shape your office happens to be, oval or otherwise, because we’re about to get presidential with the El Presidente! 


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When my wife and I travelled to Cuba there was only one stop on our itinerary that the U.S. Embassy admonished us to stay away from: The Hotel Nacional. Most notably the alleged scene of the biggest gathering of U.S. mob bosses in Havana, Hotel Nacional’s reputation as a hotbed of political discord stretched to its inception. All the way back to the 1930’s. You see, even before organized crime there was another stateside entity embroiled in collusion with Cuba, the U.S. Government. 

In order to maintain control over our closest Caribbean neighbor the U.S. backed several Cuban presidents. One way they did this was by allowing American business to capitalize on and all but take hold of Havana during prohibition tourism. That’s right, our government banned the sale of alcohol in the states but was more than happy to encourage well off Americans to indulge in the vices of our Cuban amigos. One such American mogul was John Bowman, who cozied up nicely with Cuban president Gerardo Machado. Who wasn’t very cozy with Machado was his people who, thanks in large part to his overbearing and violent regime, did not care for Cuban politicians drinking on America’s tab. 

Bowman owned many properties in Havana including the Sevilla-Biltmore, the Jockey Club, Gran Casino Nacional, and his biggest most ambitious project the Hotel Nacional. Bowman also employed head bartender Eddie Woelke, an American expat who took up residency in Havana during prohibition. Eddie worked in a number of Bowman bars creating drinks still being shaken or stirred on menus around the globe. He won awards, was filmed for U.S. media, and earned the moniker “One Million Drink Woelke” for the number of daiquiris he slung across Havana bar tops; rivaling only Constantino himself. 

Eddie seemed the obvious choice to head up the cocktail program at Havana’s newest and most prestigious hotel, but for whatever reason Bowman chose not to move him to the Nacional. A decision that worked out most fortuitous for Eddie. In 1933 a group of anti-Machado dissidents descended upon Hotel Nacional with a bombardment of artillery fire. Thus began the Hotel Nacional’s tumultuous political legacy. When the U.S. repealed prohibition two months later Eddie Woelke saw the cue like a giant flashing neon sign and repatriated to America plying his trade in New York City’s Weylin Hotel. But not before creating the topic of today’s endeavor. 

El Presidente was created by Eddie Woelke in honor of president Machado. At least that’s the prevalent story. But much like any good cocktail origin there has to be some controversy, right? (Why does there always have to be controversy.) According to cocktail historian Jeff “Beachbum” Berry the cocktail was actually created for Mario Garcia Menocal during his Cuban presidency way back in 1919. Eddie may have tweaked it a bit but the main ingredients stayed the same. 

El Presidente concoction was concocted to appeal to the American cocktail palate rather than the tropical flavors we get from other Caribbean drinks, but this cousin to the Manhattan utilizes that most Caribbean of spirits: rum.  

So, with that being said, pull up your presidential pants, loosen that tie, and let’s make a drink! 


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The recipe from the Cuban cocktail handbook Manual del Cantinero circa 1924 calls for anejo Cuban rum. Anejo, meaning aged, would be an amber. I happen to have a small amount of Havana Club I obtained before the most recent embargo went into effect, though I prefer Santiago de Cuba rum if I had my druthers, but when a drink calls for Cuban rum I usually have 2 go-to’s for stateside stand-ins. The middle of the road one-for-one would be the Real Havana Club out of Puerto Rico, and for a higher end rum I use Flor de Cana 7yr from Nicaragua. Much like cigars, the terroir and style of Nicaraguan rums mimics the flavor and body of old world Cubans. I went with the Flor de Cana this time. Oddly enough this early recipe is the only one that calls for amber rum, as most others use an blanco, or white rum. This may have been one of the changes Eddie Woelke made to his version. For substituting white rums for Cuban I use the same brands. Real Havana Club for standard and Flor de Cana 4yr aged blanco for a higher end. I called an audible on this one, though. I came across many recipes calling for an anejo (aged), or “rich” white rum. This seemed to me the perfect opportunity to employ one of my favorite newer rums on the market. Plantation 3 Star. A blend of rums from Jamaica, Barbados, and Trinidad Plantation 3 Star offers a rich, full body with just a hint of funk that brings the balance and depth redolent of aged Cuban white rums. 

The next culprit is Chambery Vermouth Blanc. Chambery refers to the region of France where this vermouth is made by the only company which still offers it; Dolin. Blanc Vermouth begins with white wine then is infused with herbal flavors the principle of which being elderflower. 

Then it gets a little confusing. Italy and France are the main producers of vermouth. The two main variants are dry, or blanc, and sweet, or rouge. Sweet vermouth refers to the red colored liqueur used in Manhattans. Chambery Dry vermouth tends to be sweeter and fruitier with a less drying mouth feel than its Italian kin but it’s not a sweet vermouth. Dolin does make a rouge Chambery but recipes specify to use Chambery Dry in El Presidente. Using Italian extra dry vermouth is pleasant and makes a rum martini. Using a sweet vermouth plays better with rum, but that transforms this into a rum Manhattan, which is a different drink altogether.   

We will need some dry orange Curacao. I always recommend Bols brand because they are one of the original Dutch Caribbean liqueurs, but opt for Pierre Ferrand if you want to get really executive. For a full dive into orange liqueurs check out the Margarita episode or blog post. 

The last thing is grenadine. As a non-alcoholic pomegranate syrup grenadine is used more for coloring in cocktails than flavor. In this drink it is the only sweetener added so it does do the trick there as well as adding a touch of fruitiness. I have to admit I have not yet endeavored to make my own grenadine which is formidably fruitier than store bought, but so little is used in this cocktail plus it benefits from the added sweetness of store bought. 

Some recipes add a dash of Angostura bitters which I find rounds out this drink nicely. 

We will cover two recipes here. The classic, which omits grenadine and uses equal parts rum and vermouth giving it a medicinal taste, and a later version that I find more pleasing to the palate. I have no evidence to back this next statement up, but I have to imagine that Eddie Woelke is credited with this drink because he made the adaptations to take a rather astringent classic and teased out a tropical speakeasy drink. 

The classic is as follows:

1 oz Anejo Rum (Flor de Cana 7yr)

1 oz Chambery Vermouth

¼ oz Dry Orange Curacao

Orange Twist

Stir all ingredients save the twist in a cocktail beaker then strain into a coup. Express the orange twist into the glass then use as garnish. 

The modern version, based on a recipe from Liquor.com, increases the rum and Curacao while decreasing the vermouth making the drink a lot more palatable. El Presidente is supposed to have a strong vermouth flavor. It’s the highlight of this drink, but I find it doesn’t play well with sweet rum and creates a medicinal bite that puts me off and seems to me a waste of good rum. Using a milder rum than Flor de Cana, like the aforementioned Havana Club, lets the vermouth take center stage, but it’s still kinda weird. That’s why I like this recipe which highlights the rum and uses vermouth to round out and add complexity to this drink. The Curacao lends body while grenadine and Angostura respectively do their jobs in creating a cocktail worthy of presidential esteem. And so it goes:

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1 ½ oz Flor de Cana 7yr or Plantation 3 Star

¾ oz Chambery Vermouth

¾ oz Orange Cuaracao

¼ tsp Grenadine

1 dash Angostura Bitters

Orange Peel

Stir in a cocktail beaker and double strain into a coup glass. Express the orange peel over the drink and discard. Plantation 3 Star adds depth to a crisp fruitiness and makes the drink a tad sweeter. The vermouth cohabitates better with a light rum. Using an anejo boosts the rumminess, especially with the ultra flavorful Flor de Cana. I prefer the white version and I implore you to experiment with whichever fits your palate. 

Okay. Now that I gave El Presidente its due it’s time to be honest - this is not my favorite cocktail. It seems like the type of drink a President might have ordered for them, take one sip, smile, then order a mojito. This drink just doesn’t seem to highlight the great flavor of rum more than just having it neat. It’s not terrible, but I wouldn’t call it good or tasty at all. I feel it definitely was an attempt at using Caribbean rum to create a prohibition style cocktail appealing to American tourists. It did make its way back to the states but with options like the Old Fashioneds and Manhattans I’m not sure why. 

That 2nd version does do a decent job of bringing the rich rum flavor forward so for my cigar folks out there I recommend pairing with a Perdomo ESV Sun Grown. I realize I pick Perdomo a lot. That’s because they have a rich depth that cuts through flavorful drinks. The ESV Sun Grown recently won Cigar Journal’s Nicaraguan cigar of the year and offers a pleasant umami cream accompaniment to El Presidente’s bitter vermouth bite. The cigar accentuates the rummy molasses taking the sting out of the drink. 

There you have it, El Presidente. Give it a try and let me know what you think! 

Acknowledgements for this episode go to: First and foremost Potions of the Caribbean by Jeff Berry, Liquor.com, Imbibe.com, Diffordsguide.com for the vermouth article and a Washington Post article by Deb Lindsey. 

Find this and all past shows and articles at PodTiki.com and follow, rate, and review us @pod_tiki and me @rum_poet on Instagram and Facebook. Listen on iTunes and Spotify! 

As always, drink responsibly and keepi tiki!



Pod Tiki: Pumpkina Colada

It seems this is as good a time as any. Halloween time after all. All Hallows Eve if you grew up religious like me. I guess that’s why the events of that night were so disturbing. You see, when you’re bread to believe in such things as ghosts and spirits and … devils, well, your imagination sometimes betrays you. So, again, this is as good a time as any to relay the story of how I first found myself called by Tiki. 


It was dark that night on account of the overcast. Darker than even usual for a beach. Folks don’t realize just how satin black the beach is at night. Not even a twinkle of Orion chasing the seven sisters across the sky. Just a smokey blackness, cut only by an occasional flash of lightning slicing across an inkline horizon. The storm was coming but as of yet my sand was still dry; save the ever constant tide drawing closer and closer. 


Arms propped up on my knees, staring out into the tenebrific treacle of ocean, it was peaceful. Then I remembered it was Halloween night. I had been out there on my own so long the days ran on and somehow I had almost lost track. But for the occasional dalliance with nearby villages. It was late now so even the lights of my bungalow barely gave any respite from night through the thick jungle brush above the shore. Only the occasional flicker of my porch lantern lit the clearing I knew would lead me to, well, home, I guess. For now, anyway. 


The ephemeral lightning grew nearer, and brighter, as I counted the seconds till hearing thunder. The way my father had taught me when we watched storms from the safety of our garage. I was a boy then, but storms never did scare me. I came to this island to find myself. In that regard perhaps being scared might be a boon to my development. 


Finding oneself is a redundancy. When you don’t know what you’re looking for, anything you find is something. Prayers are usually started with the words of Biblical prophets, so I started my prayer that night with the lyrics of my prophet; “Mother, mother Ocean, I have heard your call. Now, it’s my turn. I’m calling to you for some direction!” My exclamation almost more order than request. But alas, the tide just continued to lap the shore unburdened by my demands. 


The seconds between lightning and thunder shortened as the storm crept towards the beach. A small aperture in the clouds let a full moon shine through briefly. I leaned back on my hands to take a better look upwards. Reflecting the glow of the porch lantern the moon blanketed the sky with a pallid orange light. I was musing to myself how it resembled the color of a pumpkin when I felt it. 


At first the brush atop my hand felt like a sand crab coming out to scavenge. It took my mind a few moments to realize it was too late at night for crabs to be out and when I did I froze. That instant when subconscious fear sets in and the body seems to paralyze. There were no other physical sensations, but that feeling. That feeling of an aura, a presence behind me. My body, unbidden by my mind, on its own spun around! 


Call it apathy or expectation, but I didn’t even flinch when I saw him. A small gaunt man, skin the color of aged patina on saddle leather. Under his threadbare shroud he wore only a loincloth save the strings of indiscernible bonelike objects hanging in concentric circles from his neck. He never spoke but in my thoughts I called him the witch doctor. I was trying to make sense of the moment when he motioned for me to stand up. We stared at each other in bemusement for a few seconds until … a strike of lightning lit his face to reveal a large grotesque grin. His teeth clenched together, lips wide and pulled back towards his ear. So uncannily prodigious was his mouth and eyes I jumped at the sight. Just then, with the speed of a striking spider, he clutched my wrist and began towards the sea.   


The witch doctor was dragging me into the ocean with enormous strength. I couldn’t yank away, I couldn’t… I couldn”t. 


The water was warm and clear and as it reached above my knees I looked down to my agast once again. For, under the water were several more faces such as his. Similar yet distinct individually hideous with their large grinning mouths and triangular glowing eyes. More hands, more gripping, more pulling. My heels dug into the sandy seabed which only seemed to sink me quicker into the tide. As I slipped violently deeper, thrashing and wailing in the surf, the storm was directly overhead now and a loud crash of thunder exploded in crackling light, and I was under. 


 

The speed at which I plied the ocean floor was astonishing. Unlike any feeling I had experienced hitherto. Schools of fish liked to mock me as I descended to the abyss. Predators paid me no mind, and swaying coral seemed dancing in delight at my dismay. Just as I could not hold my breath any longer and I fully expected to gasp myself to Davy Jones locker … there was air. 


I was in a room. Dimly lit but for faint flickering glows here and there. Where was here. Seaweed hung from the ceiling and palm fronds bounced on a non-existent breeze. A mind calloused by delusion wanders in amusement. The wicker furniture creaked with gawkers, all turning to gaze at the new arrival with big terrifying faces. Faces that seemed carved rather than living. Frightful emotionless faces. Like, like … totems. There was what seemed to be a bar lined with bamboo stools and odd canvases hung from the walls that seemed to flow with motion to a rhythmic drum beat. Where am I? I didn’t even notice I had said the words aloud when a voice slowly answered, “Why, the Tiki lounge, of course.” 


“What the fu…”, I began. “Uh uh uh, language. Language.” The voice said. A tall shadow appeared from behind the bar. “We wouldn’t want to … disturb anyone.” As the shadowed figure drew near I began to make out his green skinned face, zombie-like, under thick black hair done in a pompadour style. I had to chuckle at his likeness to an undead Elvis. He smiled as if to concur in my delight. 


He wore a loose fitting Hawaiian shirt and from his khaki shorts stretched slinky boney legs. “Our time here is short”, he spoke, “so we must continue post haste.” “Continue with what” I petishined. “You asked for meaning. Well, I am to grant you your request.” I oddly felt no hesitation as he placed one hand on my forehead and the other on my body above my liver. “I bestow upon you the means to relay our tales. Go, tell our stories.” He handed me a tiki mug and instructed me to drink. “Why me?” I beckoned. Laughing he responded, “You were sitting alone on the beach on Halloween night in a storm calling to the ocean. What did you expect?” 


After one sip my body gave way to a sinking feeling. Clutching my side I fell to the ground as the world went dark. Blinking awake I found myself lying on the beach. 


The memory of that night faded. I chalked it up to a rum soaked dream. I drank tiki drinks and wrote about them and figured I was fulfilling my duty, until the other night. My wife and I had just finished carving pumpkins for Halloween night. We set them up outside and were admiring the candles giving each one a pallid orange grin when I noticed it. There in the phosphorescent glow one lambent gord took on the shape of a tiki face. 


“You ok?”, my wife asked with concern. “Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. Just thought I saw something.” But I knew it wasn’t nothing. I knew they were telling me exactly what they wanted. That night I belabored the cupboard and the liquor cabinet, toiling over recipes and searching all my cocktail tomes to no avail. Then it hit me, this one was on me. And thus, born from the spirit of tropicalia and thrust upon my heavy shoulders with a nod of inspiration from the gods comes … the Pumpkina Colada! 


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I’ve created my own cocktails before, thanks be to the quarantine, but this is the first one I’ll be sharing to Pod Tiki. It’s an easy concoction eerily similar to the Pina Colada, hence the name. Basically, I simply replace pineapple juice for pumpkin puree. It’s low-fi on purpose, made to be a batch drink one can throw together in a blender with minimal ingredients and affordable rum. 


We begin where we always do, with said rum. You’ll need a spiced rum for this. The added flavor adds to the festive nature and rounds out a drink with scant ingredients for maximum palate. Being partial to Caribbean rums I went with good ol’ faithful Captain Morgan. Sure, there are fancier spiced rums, and I urge you to use what you like, especially if there is a local artisinal distillery nearby (support local), but keep in mind that the rum flavor will mostly take a backseat to pumpkin and spice. I feel the same way about the good Captain as I do about Bacardi, there is nothing wrong with a good standard mid-grade rum when it’s called for. I started my rum journey with Captain Morgan before I became the rum_poet, so I’m brand loyal. 


Next we need some pumpkin puree. A can of any store brand will do. Some coconut cream. As per the Pina Colada I prefer Coco Lopez brand. Most major grocery chains and/or liquor stores should carry it or some version. Lastly, get yourself some pumpkin spice. You can make your own from nutmeg, cloves, cinnamon etc., but a lot of stores will sell a pre-mixed pumpkin pie spice.


For prep you’ll need a blender of choice, I use Nutribullet or Ninja, and glassware should be a spooky Tiki mug or double rocks glass. Now, let’s make a drink! 


2 oz Spiced Rum

2 oz Pumpkin Puree

1 ½ oz Coconut Cream

1 Pinch of Pumpkin Spice

½ Cup Ice


Mix all ingredients in a blender and pour directly into your vessel of vice. It should be creamy, a little less frozen than your average Pina Colada. If it’s too sweet add a ½ oz of lime juice or a few dashes of bitters. If you enjoy your drinks cloyingly sweet add ¼ oz of simple syrup to taste, but I warn you it’s already pretty rich. 


There it is, folks. Credits this week go to the Witch Doctor, Zombie Elvis, and full moon ocean horizons. Visit podtiki.com for the full blog post and please follow us on Spotify or itunes. Rate and review to help us. You can find us on social media @pod_tiki and myself @rum_poet. Most of all and as always stay safe and drink responsibly. Thank you for listening, and Happy Halloween! 


Pod Tiki: The Suffering Bastard

We’ve all endured a bit of suffering in this two thousand twentieth year of our Lord, huh? Let’s face it, the world made us it’s bitch this year. Pestilence, civil unrest, and natural disasters have left us in a fugue state of unsure aridity. But, hey! At least we’re not zombies. I already did that episode. 

When was the last time our global community suffered impacts of this magnitude? There have been wars, tragedies, epidemics, but usually depending on where they are and where you are it’s easy enough to look around and think, “well, I don’t see anything in my backyard.” And yes, most of the time in life people are cool and your neighborhood is safe and you could clear your throat at the bank without the lady in front of you clutching her pearls. Relax, Karen - I’ve got my mask and I’ve strategically arranged all my tikis around the house to ward off evil COVID spirits.  

(Disclaimer: There is no empirical nor anecdotal evidence that Tikis prevent COVID-19...yet.) 

But this year’s events are different in the sense that they’ve pulled us asunder rather than together. And where’s the place we all turn for some unification in the face of calamity? That’s right, bars. If you enjoy the human experience as much as me, and do not suffer social disconnection well, this year has been like a bad hangover; for which we could all use a little hair of the dog. 

Many a person has sat elbow on bar head in hand hoping the sweet dionysian liquid would offer an answer, an escape, a center from which to grab reality by the horns and hold it steady just long enough to regain some sort of footing. Such was the case for patrons of the Long Bar in 1940.   

Joe Scialom (Shalome) knew a bar represented the hallowed halls where diversity came to converge. He was the consummate bartender. Educated, compassionate, humble, commander of a room and the epitome of sophistication. It was his job to be there whether before or after a night of dwelling in a memory or trying to forget one, building oneself up or spiraling down. For a man to whom one could confess all their sins without saying a word night befores and morning afters were his speciality. The brave, the weak, the honorable heathens and poor unfortunate heroes; those suffering bastards. Kings and queens came to him as did the demimonde of delinquent denizens. 

We’re going to learn about Joe today as well as the role he played at the helm that earned him his place among Tiki royalty. 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Pod Tiki, where today we leave the Caribbean and travel all the way to Egypt to meet another Don of Tiki and the cocktail that garnered him that title: The Suffering Bastard. 

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One of the reasons Joe Scialom holds a place in bartending history is because of his story. His origins are legion, as he told reporters whatever they needed to hear to fulfill their expectations. He played the part. Mystery and intrigue is the precept of Tiki culture. In some sense bartenders aren’t supposed to have lives, they’re supposed to listen to ours. 

But Joe Scialom’s actual origins do precede what one would want from a career mixologist. Born in Egypt to an Italian Jewish immigrant and Russian Jewish exile, Joe’s father ran a pharmacy which sparked his interest in chemistry. He followed that scientific path till self-awareness caught up. After mixing drinks for friends out of boredom Joe realized he preferred mixing things that made people happy over temporarily quelling their debilitations. (Little did he know.) It wasn’t long till little Joey, much to his father’s chagrin, left the family biz and landed himself a gig at the premier watering hole in Cairo, The Long Bar at The Shepheard's Hotel. 

Scialom, an erudite man who spoke several languages fluently and in dialect, rapidly rose in the ranks till he eventually took control as head bartender of the Long Bar serving the likes of Lawrence of Arabia, Winston Churchill, Charles de Gaulle, and King Farouk. 

It was about this time the world plummeted into chaos. World War II. But alas, in every tragedy that tries to stamp out the flames of prosperity there is an ember to spark a silver lining. From thus came the impromptu creation that officially put Joe Scialom on the map. 

British General Montgomery and his Eighth Army had taken up residency at The Shepheard's Hotel. The day would soon come where they would face off against Rommel’s branch of Nazi regime at the battle of El Alamein.  

And it came to pass after a long night at the Long Bar the troops were unexpectedly roused. It was go-time. The rumors were true. The German forces had impenetrable tanks and artillery that would mow down opposing troops like blades of grass under a Briggs & Stratton. Montgomery, rarely affaced in the face of danger, scanned his infantry. These men, these men were in no shape to fight. That’s when the call came in to Joe Scialom. Four gallons of hangover cure, on the frontlines, now. 

 Joe hustled. Barking orders like a militant commander himself Joe gathered every mason jar, thermos, and flask he could find. Rommel’s armies had cut supply lines rendering his inventory little more than rotgut and mixers leaving his patrons complaining of bad hangovers. Thus, Joe already had this concoction in his repertoire. But how to make it work? He reached for some British Navy-issued brandy, Gin he scrounged from a trading post, some homemade sweetened lime juice, a few dashes of local bitters, and a ginger beer made by a local merchant of “dubious character”.  From these ingredients he created the greatest hangover cure since tomato juice met celery salt. The Suffering Bastard.  

Needless to say General Montgomery and the forces of good prevaled at the battle El Alamein winning the day for the Allied Forces and securing Joe Scialom’s place among bartending immemorial.  But if you think Joe’s story ends there you are a sad suffering bastard indeed. 

Much like adolescence, growth can be uncomfortable. And post war Egyptians were growing fed up with their foppish King Farouk. Disapproval of his excessive lifestyle created civil unrest in turn leading to riots which descended upon the favorite watering hole of His Majesty and others representing the beau monde elite. Which bar was that, you say? You guessed it, The Shepeard’s Hotel Long Bar. 

After that, during the Suez Canal crisis, Joe was taken in on suspicion of espionage due to his relationships with high ranking officials on both sides. Following these events Joe was forced to flee Egypt with his family to his first island gig, Cyprus in the Mediteranean. Scialom’s reputation spread all over the Middle East and Europe eventually catching the attention of one Conrad Hilton. Yes, my friends. This is where our story takes us full circle back to the Pina Colada episode and finally brings our story back to the tropics. 

 Conrad was about to open the Caribe Hilton in San Juan, Puerto Rico and really needed that something, nay, someone. The Tiki gods seemed to have aligned for as soon as Conrad Hilton learned the famed Joe Scialom was on the market the offer went out. Joe, for his part, looked around at a region that was shredded by war, rioted his bar, arrested him and had his family exiled was like, “You know what? A tropical island sounds pretty damn good right about now.” And just like that Joe left the dessert so fast his cloud of dust created a sandstorm. (I made that part up.)

During Joe’s time at the Caribe Hilton he disseminated many drinks while proliferating his old school style bartending etiquette throughout the Caribbean and Americas. Hilton, always the enterprising, actually had the nerve to put a Trader Vic’s in the bottom floor of the Caribe while the great Joe Scialom ran the show upstairs. No matter, by this time kitschy Tiki was experiencing its first recession but Joe was still attracting thirsty tourists to the island by the literal boat-load. 

In case you’re wondering Trader Vic had one poor attempt at imitating a Suffering Bastard, but it resembled the original in name alone. Vic’s version is basically, well no, it is a Mai Tai with extra rum. There’s really no need for it in our pantheon of potions. The Trader empire eventually withstood the test of time, but this impotent imposter leaves a bit of a bad taste in the mouths of Tiki historians. 

The legend of Joe Scialom doesn’t end here. In fact his relationship with Hilton found him traversing the globe opening the bar programs in various hotels for his ol’ comrade Conrad. But lest this turn into the Pod Scialom show I think you bastards have suffered my regaling you all long enough. Let’s make a drink! 

&&&

 The Suffering Bastard, sometimes referred to as a Suffering Bar Steward depending on one’s sensibilities, gets a bad rap due to the suggestive moniker. It’s not some over powering booze bomb meant to shock you back to temporary stasis, we have Zombies for that. As a Zombie refers to what you are after the drink, a Suffering Bastard reaches down to the dry mouthed, head pounding, ashy bloodshot depths and plucks its namesake from Persephone’s prolonged punishment. Like the Bloody Mary it’s intention is medicinal, and like the Bloody Mary when done right it is a very well balanced and surprisingly tasty cocktail. 

I say surprisingly because Joe breaks some of my personal rules here about using fresh ingredients. The more I travel down this path of refined libations I often slam into unintentional conclusions. One being, if Joe Scialom says use lime cordial instead of lime juice, you use the F’ing lime cordial. We’ll get there. 

Let’s start where we always do - with the spirits. This cocktail calls for London Dry Gin and Cognac. For my run-down of gin check out the Aviation episode. The short story is that I prefer a botanical heavy floral gin. Nothing wrong with more laid back higher end gins for martinis or highballs, but a heavy London Dry is necessary to cut through the other flavors in this drink. Beefeater is still my go-to.  As for the Cognac, for mixing I just grab a small bottle of whatever middle-grade your local shop carries. The Cognac here is for body and character. It adds a very slight fruitiness but really it simply rounds out the cocktail without taking over the way some other spirits may. I say that because at some point Bourbon began being swapped out for the Cognac. I find the Kentucky cough syrup likes to overpower the delicate balance of juniper and ginger. Stick with a cheap Cognac. 

Lime cordial is basically sweetened lime juice. Not quite a syrup, but not as tart as fresh juice. The process is a bit more complicated than that, made by boiling lime juice, citric acid, lime rind and sugar water; think non-alcoholic lime curacao. A cordial is defined as liquid candy or a pleasant tasting medicine, which folds it nicely into its purpose here. So, it’s not as egregious as let’s say, sweet and sour mix. 

Next we’ll need some ginger beer. Whenever I need ginger beer in a cocktail I reach for Reed’s Extra. It’s got that ginger kick without burning too hot. I know some folks swear by the Cock & Bull, which is great for Mule’s. Keep in mind mules use a neutral spirit, vodka. Here we want something to compliment not conquer. Not to mention Reed’s is a Jamaican product which fits into our Tiki vibe. (Sidenote: Jamaican Me Stormy, my take on Dark and Stormy uses Reed’s, lime juice and Myers’s Dark Rum.)

Lastly, grab some Angostura bitters. 

You’ll need a shaker and a bar spoon or stirrer. Glassware for this is really up to you. Traditionally I think it’s served in a double rocks glass or highball glass, but I prefer a wincing Tiki mug. Trader vic had a special Suffering Bastard mug he served these up in and they are pretty cool if you can find one. 

The recipe is as follows:

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1 oz London Dry Gin

1 oz Cognac

½ oz Lime Cordial

2 Dashes Angostura Bitters

4 oz Ginger Beer 

Pour everything except the ginger beer into the shaker, add ice and shake-shake-shake senora. Open it up, pour in your ginger beer and stir. Then dump the contents, ice and all into your preferred vessel. 

Lift and sip. Lift and sip. A spoonful of contrition helps the medicine go down. Seriously, though. The bouquet of gin and ginger, sweetened with lime, filled out and rounded with Cognac and bitters. This is a really pleasant flavor explosion. I contend one need not even be hungover to enjoy it. 

For my cigar geeks out there this is a tough one for me. Spicy ginger and thick botanicals dominate the palate here, but luckily the sweetness saves us some room for pairing. I’m going to suggest a Perdomo Reserve 10th Anniversary Sun Grown. The heavy creaminess should be able to round off the ginger. 

There are a few bastard spin-offs that go beyond suffering. Scialom’s Dying Bastard is: 

½ oz Gin

½ oz Cognac

½ oz Bourbon

½ Lime Cordial

2 Dashes Angostura

4 oz Ginger Beer

...and the Dead Bastard: 

½ oz Gin

½ oz Cognac

½ oz Bourbon

½ oz White Rum

½ oz Lime Cordial 

2 Dashes Angostura 

4 oz Ginger Beer and a Bastard in a pear tree. 

I don’t really think there’s ever a reason to make these variations. Unless of course you’re trying to earn your Bastard’s degree. (Get it! Nevermind.) 

As a remedy this drink hits all the savory spicy notes of a Bloody Mary but adds that bright refreshing bite of floralness with the juniper. Honestly, this drink surprised me in how good it is. Then again, a chemist-genius-bartending Tiki god did create it. The Suffering Bastard exemplifies what I look for in a great cocktail: balance and nuance. 

Balance and nuance, huh? Seems like that could be applied to a lot of the issues we face on this crazy spinning rock we call home. 

This episode is the reason I do this. The unexpected storied journey of people and relationships and origins of this Tiki thing that permeates cocktail culture and our own in so many ways. 

Equality is not pretending we’re all the same, it’s acknowledging the beauty in our differences. And remember, just because you can’t always see people suffering outside your own window doesn’t mean they are not sick, or scared, or hurting. 

As we move into the next phase of our lives it feels like we all need to get over the hangover of last year. Let’s do it with love and respect and safety. 

Because hey, some great things have also happened. For example the lovely Faith and I are finally married! No more will you hear me speak of my fiance but instead now my Wife. 

Her cocktail of compassion, integrity, strength, patience, and love in itself proves to me that we can all come back from being - a Suffering Bastard.